


Fallen Star

by Monsoon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ballet Dancer!Eren, Detective!Levi, Happy Ending, It's just a feels fest, Kidnapping, M/M, Mistaken/Assumed Major Character Death, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-03-13 01:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3362273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsoon/pseuds/Monsoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Detective Levi Ackerman had his life in order; a steady job he enjoyed, a close circle of friends, and a spitfire little sister who was all the family he could ever want or need. His world was a simple one until ballet prodigy Eren Jaeger stumbled into it.<br/>Someone like Eren didn't belong in his world.<br/>Now he wasn't sure how he would live without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Mariage D'amour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXl4VIGI14E) by Richard Clayderman

Chief Pixis’ voice debriefing the department had long since faded into the background. Everything had waned to nonexistence as Levi stared at the photo stuck to the whiteboard, mug of coffee forgotten in his hand. He’d gotten used to seeing only professional photos of him pasted up on the sides of theatres,splayed across double-page spreads in the morning paper or stuck all over his little sisters bedroom wall. He still looked so lively even in a blurry photo that did little justice to reality. His image didn’t belong on the debriefing board stuck among the clutter of other cases that needed working on, between mug-shots and crime scene photographs. He belonged on stage, shining under spotlights and showered with roses.

It took Levi a moment to realize the meeting was over and his colleagues had started dispersing back to their respective desks. Pixis eyed him with a questioning frown which Levi waved away.

With the meeting room finally deserted save for himself, Levi slowly made his way closer to the whiteboard and the photograph that had caught his eye. Bright green eyes stared back shining with laughter, a wide, dimpled grin preserved and memorialized on glistening photo paper had the corners of Levi’s lips almost tugging upward in response. He had always had that effect.

The victim’s name was scrawled below in clumsy sharpie that Levi recognized as Hanji’s handwriting.

_Eren Jaeger_

They didn’t have all that much to go on, about the same as any other missing person’s case, but there was more pressure this time round. This was a high profile case; the celebs always attracted the crazies. The media was having a field day as well; Levi couldn’t catch a break. If he turned on the television, Eren would be pasted across every channel. He was on the front cover of every newspaper and mentioned at every news segment on the radio. Even his colleagues couldn’t stop talking about it;  _the rising young ballet dancer kidnapped on the eve of his last show._ It was a national tragedy. And then there was his little sister Isabel who practically cried herself to sleep every night since her idol had ‘vanished’ from the theatre car park, leaving behind just a crumpled bouquet he’d accepted barely an hour earlier.

Levi heaved a weary sigh and plucked the photograph off the board.

****************

 

Levi fidgeted in his tuxedo, tugging at the collar in discomfort. He was used to suits, he had to wear them all day at work, but who the hell decided tuxedos would be a good idea, and why the hell did people still wear them?

“Levi, can you sit still please? Honestly, sometimes you act like such a baby.” Levi shot Isabel a narrowed glare only to receive a stuck out tongue in response. He couldn’t help smiling once she’d turned back to face the stage though, jiggling in her seat in anticipation. Who was she to be telling him to sit still? The lights dimmed and the crowd hushed in preparation for the show. Isabel instantly froze, wide eyes glued to the heavy red curtain as intently as if the show had already begun.

He didn’t usually come to these things – no, scratch that – he  _never_  came to these things. If Hanji found out he’d been goaded into attending the ballet by his little sister, even going so far as to suit up in a tux and comb back his hair, he’d never hear the end of it. But it was Isabel’s birthday and there was little she adored more than the ballet. She’d been begging him for weeks to let her watch this show. A new and rising ballet dancer that had recently dominated her attention – and even threatened to dethrone Levi as Isabel’s favourite person on the planet – was performing tonight and Levi, ever the detective, needed to investigate that for himself.

It started off slow. He stopped paying attention almost the instant the curtain rose. The classical music sent his mind into a distant place and Levi found his gaze wandering around the stage and scrutinizing each dancer in turn rather than paying attention to the performance. It didn’t take much to distinguish the main attraction, Eren Jaeger, from the rest. Dressed in white tights and a billowy light green shirt with fancy beading around the neckline, the young ‘danseur’ (as Isabel had taught him) leapt and pirouetted across the stage with enviable grace that had Levi searching for cables.

If you asked him after the show what it had been about, Levi wouldn’t have had the foggiest. All he’d be able to recall was Eren, ethereal and misleadingly delicate, dancing around the other less noticeable figures.

"He’s only nineteen!" Isabel gushed as they exited the theatre and into the lobby. "That’s only, like, four years older than me!"

They had takeaway Chinese for dinner at Isabel’s request, and sat in the living room bundled under a shared doona and spilling over her scrap books filled with magazine and newspaper clippings of everything ballet. There were 7 whole pages dedicated to Eren. Levi counted.

 

****************

 

“Hey there.”

Levi blinked and jerked around as he was brought back into reality. Hanji leaned in the doorframe, hands shoved deep into their trouser pockets and eyeing him with open concern. Levi grunted in response, glancing back at the photo forgotten in his hand before sticking it back on the board.

“How’s Isabel doing?” Hanji shoved off the frame and made their way in. A slow, casual stroll, looking around the bland meeting room as if it’s yellowed, flaking wall paint and musty carpet were a new and interesting environment worthy of inspection. It didn’t fool Levi.

“As well as can be expected,” he shrugged, lifting his mug to his lips and cringing as the cold brown liquid made contact.

“Hmm,” Hanji leaned against the table and spun Levi’s phone around to face them from where it had been resting on the desk. Levi eyed the movements carefully. “She must be taking it hard. She loved him.”

Levi swallowed and looked down. He grunted in acknowledgement but didn’t otherwise respond. He had been doing well so far, why was Hanji doing this now?

“This isn’t healthy, Levi.” Hanji sighed and fixed him with a level stare that he could feel even without making eye contact. “Talk to me, please.”

“Why?” He looked up then, returning Hanji’s look with an equally challenging one. What was there to talk about? Why did anything  _need_  to be talked about?

“Because…” with a fluid motion, Hanji pressed the home key on his phone and flipped it back around to face him. The lock screen lit up at once and Levi was forced to confront the image set as his wallpaper. He’d had his phone on silent the past few days, relying on his home and office line for anyone wanting to get in contact with him. He didn’t want to use his phone, he couldn’t bear to look at the screen let alone unlock it to see all the calls he hadn’t received or the messages to the same number he hadn’t sent. Levi stared down at his phone screen in muted resignation. An image of himself stared back, glaring into the camera lens as the other occupant of the photo held it up at an awkward angle for a selfie. Eren wasn’t looking at the camera though, his eyes were screwed shut as he planted a big kiss on Levi’s cheek. Despite his glare, the pink dusting across his cheekbones gave Levi away.

He barely heard Hanji’s next words, as focused as he was on the image of the boy whose smile he had been starved of for far too long already.

“Because you love him too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Stay Awake With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UflF-nJMgk4) by London Grammar

Levi glared at his watch and heaved an exhausted sigh. It was just a little past 10pm, but he was finally headed home. He’d woken up at the crack of dawn to drop Isabel off at school early in time to catch the bus for her school camp, and immediately afterwards he’d turned the car around and headed straight to the station. As if being sleep deprived wasn’t enough, he’d worked overtime well into the night closing off his latest case and filing all the necessary paperwork that he didn’t trust Hanji to do. At least he didn’t have to worry about Isabel. Normally he’d have called home several times by now to check up on her, only to be loudly scolded over the phone and told to ‘stop babying her’. It still felt strange to think that she was off hiking in some remote bush-land with no telephone reception. What if something happened? How could she contact him in an emergency? He’d watched Wolf Creek; who knew what kind of crazies lived in the outback waiting to prey of a group of unsuspecting high schoolers?

So immersed in his paranoid musings, Levi collided straight into someone walking in the opposite direction. The case files tucked under his arm slipped free, its contents spilling out across the sidewalk.

“Shit, shit. I’m so sorry man. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” The boy crouched down immediately, setting his map and bubble tea aside to help Levi gather up his scattered paperwork. Levi eyed the map. A tourist then?

“No, it was my fault. I wasn’t paying atten—,“ His voice petered off as he finally looked up and got a good look at the other man. He was dressed snuggly for the chilly weather, bundled up in a khaki parka with a red scarf wrapped around his neck and concealing half his face. What looked like a hand-stitched beanie that was a hideous combination of purple and orange wool was pulled down low over his brow, but a few stray brown locks had slipped free. All that was really visible of his face was a pink nose and bright green eyes, but Levi would recognize those eyes anywhere thanks to all those goddamn cut-outs and posters pasted up all over Isabel’s wall.

“You’re Eren Jaeger.” Eren blinked at the comment, and then reached up to tug down the scarf so he could smile properly. He held out a gloved hand for Levi to shake. 

“And you must be a fan?”

“Levi, and no, my little sister is.” Levi amended, taking the hand and shaking it firmly. Eren handed him over the documents he’d gathered up. Now he’d have to go home and re-order them again, goddamnit.

“ _Riiight_ ,” Eren grinned “Look, you don’t have to be shy. Tonnes of my fans are guys. Personally, I think it’s an indication of a tasteful and cultured gentleman.” Levi narrowed his eyes as both men straightened up.

“I’m serious. I don’t know shit about ballet, I only recognize you because Isabel has posters of you stuck up all over the place. I know your face better than my own now.”

“Okay, okay I believe you,” Eren laughed, holding up his hands placatingly. Levi’s attention was yet again drawn to the map in Eren’s hand.

“Last-minute sight-seeing before you leave?” It had gotten to the point that Levi even knew the exact date Eren would be leaving the city as a result of Isabel’s devotion. It was even circled on the family calendar written in the sparkly purple gel-pen usually reserved only for the most special events like birthdays and Christmas.

“Huh?” Eren glanced down at the map in his hand and smiled. “Oh yeah, I guess. I heard from a friend that there was a really famous gay club here and I figured I may as well check it out.” Levi blinked, momentarily speechless by the younger man’s brazen admission.

“Oh, you’re gay?” As soon as the words left Levi’s mouth, he immediately regretted them. Was he allowed to ask that? That wasn’t the type of question to ask during idle chit-chat between strangers. He should just quickly ask for an autograph for Isabel and leave; this was veering into awkward territory alarmingly fast.

“Yeah,” The brunet laughed, shrugging. He didn’t seem at all put-out by Levi’s blunt question, which was reassuring. “The other dancers are fun and all, but sometimes you just need to chill with other gays and recharge, you feel me?”

“No,” Levi responded immediately. Of course he didn’t  _feel him_ , what the hell? “But you being a ballet dancer, I guess it figures…” Eren frowned, thick eyebrows stitching together.

“What do you mean ‘figures’?” Before Levi could respond, the younger man ploughed on. “What, does a guy have to be gay to do ballet? Is ballet somehow an inherently effeminate sport? Do ‘manly men’ like you not partake in such girly things? Only attending when dragged along by girlfriends or little sisters?” Levi stared at the younger man, stunned by his outburst. Eren was breathing hard after his little rant, his breath materializing in the cold air in small white puffs as he stared down Levi challengingly.

“Okay wow, no. I didn’t mean it like  _that_.”

“Then? How  _did_  you mean it?” Eren demanded, green eyes flashing. God, he was relentless. Like a pitbull or something.

“I don’t..,” Levi sighed and scratched his undercut. He was exhausted, cold and hungry. He couldn’t handle a cross-examination by an incensed ballerino in a hideous beanie right now. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, okay?” What were the chances of him being able to ask for an autograph now? He’d pretty much ruined that opportunity. God, Isabel would  _kill_  him if she ever found out that he’d pissed off Eren-fucking-Jaeger.

Eren harrumphed and turned away, burying his nose back in his map and sucking noisily on the straw of his bubble tea. Levi figured that was as good as a dismissal.

He turned and walked a little way off before pausing. He could picture Isabel in his mind now, going on a hunger strike or something equally dramatic to mourn the loss of Eren’s good favour. Levi had learned the hard way that a teenage girl with a grudge was a force to be reckoned with. With a heavy sigh, he turned back to face Eren. The boy was still standing where he’d left him, balancing on the curb and chewing on the straw of his drink as he scrutinized his map. This was a small city, how fucking navigationally impaired did you need to be to get lost here?

“Give me the map.”

Eren looked up at him and blinked uncomprehendingly at his outstretched hand.

“The  _map_ , Eren,” Levi repeated. Honestly, it was crazy how similar this kid was to Isabel. For all his bull-headed passion, he could be as thick as a concrete milkshake.

“What for?” Levi snatched the abused sheet of paper from Eren’s grasp and began to look over it.

“So I can help you get to the bar, you moron. Where is it?” There was a beat of silence as Eren seemed to process the offer, and then he was right beside Levi, crowding up in his space so he could point out the desired destination.

“Huh, that’s the way I’m headed.” Since when was there a gay club near where he lived? Levi refolded the map and handed it back to Eren. “Come on, just follow me.”

Eren received it slowly and eyed him with suspicion.

“…Fine.”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“…Levi?”

Levi jerked upright, blinking away the sleep and staring around the dark room in a daze as he gathered his bearings. Slowly, his living room came into focus and his eyes landed on the slight figure standing in the doorway to the corridor.

“Bella? What’s up?” His voice came out husky and low with sleep. Eren loved his morning voice.

“What are you doing?” Isabel rubbed at her eyes and frowned down at the mess of papers and cardboard boxes piled and scattered around the coffee table and across the rug. Her gaze stopped on an open file in front of Levi and he saw her breathe stutter to a halt. Following her gaze to the file, Levi darted forward to quickly snap it shut, hiding away the copy of Eren’s missing person’s poster with the same photograph of him they had pasted across billboards, news segments and telephone poles everywhere. Levi used to love that picture. Now it just made his stomach twist in knots.

“…You found anything yet?” her voice was quiet. Levi wasn’t used to Isabel being quiet.

“No. Not yet.”

“Keep trying.” Levi nodded. It didn’t need to be said, really. 

Isabel came forward and silently took a seat in the opposite armchair, drawing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around herself. Levi stayed quiet. He could tell she had more to say and he would wait for her to say it. Her green eyes stared without seeing at the folder containing Eren’s photograph. Levi hated to see her like this; a lifeless husk. Isabel was supposed to be a ball of fire and energy, he’d never seen her this grave, not even when her parents had died.

“I miss him.” Her voice came out weak and Levi could tell by the slight waver that she was on the verge of tears.

“I know. So do I, kiddo.”

“No, like. I miss him more than I miss mum and dad.” Isabel looked up at Levi’s with tearful eyes. “Does that – does that make me a bad person? I didn’t even know him that long. And mum and dad…” Levi stood and made his way over to his baby sister as she broke down in tears; huge, hiccuping sobs wracking her tiny frame. He squeezed down beside her on sofa, pulling her into his lap and rocking her body gently against his own, stroking her hair soothingly. Just like he’d done when she was little.

“No Bella, of course not. You were so young back then. Eren – Eren was… “  _right here_.  _Eren was like family_. It was something both of them had lost so young. They’d lived in their own isolated little world for so long, relying so much on each other that they’d started to believe they’d never need anyone else. Who’d have thought that in just a few short weeks they could have been proven so wrong?

“He can’t be gone,” Isabel’s voice was muffled against his shirt, and Levi instinctively pulled her closer. He could feel her tears seeping through the thin fabric. “We can’t lose him too, Levi.”

“We’re not going to lose him, kid.” Levi whispered fiercely into her hair. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more. “We’re going to find him and we’re going to bring him home.”

Isabel burrowed further into his embrace and hugged him back tightly. It struck Levi that her arms were the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Georgia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0XRlNZbQFE) by Vance Joy

Levi looked up from where he had been gazing at his phone wallpaper despondently. Shit, he’d zoned off in the middle of work again. If Pixis caught him again, he’d have a hard time convincing him that nothing was wrong this time. He watched Erwin approach from the direction of the front desk, looking as immaculate as ever in his tailored suit with Tom Ford briefcase in hand. Levi was suddenly very conscious of just how terrible he must look in his badly ironed shirt with dark circles under his eyes. At just what point had his façade started slipping? Although no one had outright confronted him yet, even he was aware of the growing whispers of his co-workers around him and the concerned looks the receptionists shot his way when he lumbered into the office in the morning. Erwin eyed the mess of paperwork on Levi’s desk with a critical eye before placing his briefcase on the floor and taking a seat opposite his desk. The cheap leather creaked under the weight, but Erwin somehow made the regulation office chair look as grand as a throne. He didn’t say anything for a while, apparently content to rake his sympathetic blue eyes over the mess before him that Levi was compiled of. He didn’t need to say anything for Levi to know what he was thinking as he took in the disaster-zone of an office space that surrounded him and Levi’s own bedraggled appearance.

 _This isn’t like you, Levi. You’re tearing apart at the seams and you’re doing a god awful job of hiding it_. Well not everyone can be Steve Rogers 24/7. Excuse Levi for being human.

“What are you doing here? I thought your case closed on Tuesday?” Levi broke the silence first, making a show of attempting to organize the catastrophe on his desk to give the illusion of having a lot to do. Well it wasn’t an illusion, he  _did_  have a lot to do, and sitting around staring at his inactive phone wasn’t helping that.

“It did, but I took up Kazachenko case right afterwards…”  _But you should know that already_. The hanging sentence said more than enough and Levi sighed, covering his face with his hands and resting his elbows on the desktop. Erwin seemed to sense that Levi was done with pretending everything was okay for the time being.

“How’s the search for Eren going? Anything new?”

“No. Fucking  _nothing_. It happened in the part of the car park that was in a blind spot to the security cameras. We have two possible vehicle models that need checking out, but it’s unlikely they’ll lead to anything.” Levi peeked over his fingertips at the clock hung over the doorway. Three more hours and he’d head home after doing shit all to reheat last night’s leftovers for dinner. Isabel was staying over at a friend’s house tonight and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to returning to an empty home. It was Friday though; maybe he should watch a movie like they used to when Eren—

“You need a break, Levi.” The dark haired man stared at Erwin flatly over steepled fingers.

“It’s Friday. I have a break all weekend.”

“No, you know what I mean. I mean you need a break from—,” Erwin gestured at the entirety of Levi’s dishevelled appearance “—pretending you have everything together. You come to work every day and act like your fine, then you go home to Isabel and continue the act. That’s got to be exhausting. You need a break.”

“Isabel’s at a friend’s house tonight.” Erwin was sort of right. While Levi preferred having Isabel around to bring some life into the otherwise dead house, he was also sort of looking forward to the opportunity to crack out a bottle of scotch and drop the pretence of composure where he didn’t have to act strong for anyone else.

“Perfect!” Erwin’s enthusiastic smile was far too big and bright for the claustrophobic office. Levi actually cringed and looked away. “Let’s go out together after you’re done. We can just go out for some drinks and you can let loose a little. What do you say?”

Levi eyed the blond warily. He wasn’t fond of the Friday night crowd, and he certainly couldn’t be bothered dealing with the shitheads that hung out at Northbridge at this hour.

“I know what you’re thinking; don’t worry we’ll go somewhere a little more familiar…” Erwin grinned meaningfully, thick eyebrows raised as he waited for Levi to catch his drift. It took a moment though, but the second it struck him his expression dropped. He could feel the blood drain from his face and he looked down at the file opened in front of him, grey eyes scanning the indecipherable lines of words without actually seeing.

“No, not there.” Levi cursed his own voice for coming out as barely a whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Anywhere but there.”

~~~~~~~~

Levi looked up from the map to the building they were standing outside of. Looked about right. He squinted at the bright blue neon sign flashing gaily over the entrance.

“The Garrison?” He read out, turning to Eren for confirmation. What sort of name was that for a gay club?

“Yeah, this is it!” The younger man beamed up at the sign with eager eyes, the blue light reflecting off the bright green mesmerizingly. He turned his smile on Levi. “Hey, thanks for this. And for the record, I accept your apology.”

“Yeah, yeah." Levi waved him off and peered down the road towards his place. Although the sound of heavy beats and merriment could be heard from outside, the road was already quite empty for the hour. Now to head home to re-organize his case file and eat leftover casserole in front of trashy late-night television. When had he turned into such a sad, lonely old man?

Levi sighed and turned back to find Eren still beside him, considering him thoughtfully. “What?” he asked, not liking that particular glint in his eyes.

“You should come in too.” Levi stared at the younger man waiting for him to realize what he’d said, but it soon became apparent he had meant it.

“I’m not gay,” Levi reminded him.  

“Yeah but you see, the awesome thing about gay clubs is that – unlike ballet – straight people aren’t barred from entry!” Eren responded with an eye-roll and exaggeratedly cheerful voice. Levi gave him a dry look.

“Very funny. I thought you forgave me for that.” Levi regarded the club warily out of the corner of his eye. There was no way in hell would he ever go in there. It was the kind of place Hanji would hang out at, and if their renditions of their late-night misadventures were anything to go by, it was certainly  _not_  Levi’s scene.

“I did, I did. I’m just returning the favour now. Look, man, you clearly have nothing else to do tonight. What are you gonna do? Go home, watch some TV and sleep?” Levi frowned slightly. Okay, unlike  _some_  people, he had been working all day. That was a perfectly acceptable way to end a Friday night.

Eren smirked as if he could read Levi’s train of thought. “Yeah, I thought so. You’re a cute guy! You’re young and it’s a Friday night; live a little!”

How long had it been seen he’d last gone out for drinks? Between Isabel and work, he really didn’t have much time to himself these days.

Eren held up a hand and looked at him seriously “Wait – do you have, like, a girlfriend or something waiting for you back home?”

“No! And even if I did, what exactly do you think is going to happen in there? Do you think I’ll be going home with a guy tonight or something?”

Eren released a relieved sigh. “Okay nah, that’s cool. And yeah, it’s possible. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen it happen.” Levi looked at the younger man suspiciously and wondered just who he’d been in that situation.

“… I have my work with me.” Levi held up the case file in his hand. It was a weak excuse and Eren knew it too because he punched the air triumphantly and grinned.

“So? It’s not like you’re planning on getting shit-faced. You won’t lose it, trust me. Now come on before you change your mind!” The younger man seized Levi by the elbow and practically dragged him inside.

Eren shed his oversized parka at the cloak room as well as the hideous beanie/scarf combination. He was wearing tight black jeans and a black turtle neck sweater that hugged his athletes frame snuggly underneath. It was a flattering yet sophisticated outfit and Levi felt considerably underdressed in comparison. Well, no matter. It’s not like he’d be attracted to anyone in here who’d return the sentiment; he was here just for drinks.

“Woah, woah hold up,” Eren stopped Levi from proceeding forward with a hand to his chest. “Hell no you aren’t wearing that in; lose the tie and suit jacket. You  _reek_  of cop and the only type of cop that’s ever welcome in a club is the kind that strips for money.”

“You’re kidding.” Levi stared at Eren but the latter showed no sign of budging. Oh for the love of Christ. With an exasperated eye-roll, he shrugged off his jacket and pulled off his tie, handing it over to the lady manning the cloak room. He turned back Eren, who was considering him deep in thought with a finger on his chin, and gave him a look as if to say  _can we go now?_

“Hang on a sec.” Eren stepped forward to undo the top three buttons of Levi’s shirt and then roll up the sleeves to his elbows. Finally, he ran his fingers through Levi’s hair, mussing it up slightly, before stepping back to look over his handiwork with a proud smile. “Perfect. You sure you aren’t a little gay, Levi? Because hot  _damn_.”

“ _Urgh_ , come on already before I change my mind,” Levi muttered, shoving past the younger man and making his way into the club.

God, Levi hadn’t been in a club in years. Now he remembered why. The loud music, the closely packed body’s slick with sweat and the overwhelming stench of body odour mingling with alcohol accosted him the moment he entered. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and flashing strobe lights and looked around the area distastefully until he eyes the bar nestled in the corner on a raised platform. Almost immediately, he made a beeline for the little island that seemed to glow like a beacon in the dark room, slapping his case file down on the counter and sagging into one of the bar stools. He was surprised when Eren slipped into the seat beside him, bopping his head to the music and staring around with interest as he drank in his surroundings.

“Aren’t you gonna go off and dance or something?” He asked after ordering himself a white Russian. Eren shrugged, opting for a rum and coke.

“Sure, maybe in a bit. But I want to make sure you’re not going to sneak away at the first chance.”

 _Why_? Why did he insist on hanging around Levi – a boring, straight, party-pooper old man – when probably any man in this building would be falling over themselves to dance with him? Levi looked at the younger man in confusion but Eren didn’t appear notice, preoccupied receiving his drink from the bartender with a dazzling smile. The blond, broad-shouldered bartender shot Eren a wink. Seriously? Five minutes in and people were already hitting on him? Oh, to be young again.

“He’s into you,” Levi murmured into his glass, nodding in the blonds direction once his back was turned. Eren glanced his way before shrugging noncommittally.

“Eh, not my type.” Levi frowned after the bartender. He looked pretty good, at least Levi thought so. Slightly burly and jockish, but attractive nonetheless. 

Three drinks later, Levi was feeling pleasantly buzzed and significantly more relaxed. He’d been surprised by how many guys had already approached him for a chat; what with Eren sitting so close by looking like he just stepped out of a magazine shoot and him comparatively looking like death after a long work day, he hadn’t expected to receive  any attention really. Everyone was pleasant though, even after he’d informed them he was just here for drinks with a friend. He’d befriended two drag queens, Onyx and January, and they’d listened with intrigue as Levi had offered advice on how to get foundation stains out of white fabric. He was surprised to find that he was actually really enjoying himself, but even more so by the fact that Eren still hadn’t left his side. Levi wasn’t blind, he’d seen the dozens of men that had approached him throughout the night, but he’d yet to accept any of their invitations to dance, apparently preferring to sit by Levi and marvel at his extensive knowledge of cleaning techniques. Eren somehow fit perfectly into any conversation no matter what the topic – a characteristic that Levi envied. He could laugh along with anything and crack jokes that had everyone roaring with laughter. Everyone seemed eager to talk to him in turn; he had that sort of warm persona that just naturally drew people in. He was the polar opposite of Levi.

“Levi?” Levi looked up from where he’d been frowning down at his empty glass and almost slipped off his barstool as Erwin came into focus, manoeuvring through the tightly-packed crowd of the club towards him with grace that should have been impossible for a man of his build and stature. He was apparently also there after work, still dressed in his office slacks and a crisp white shirt that stretched over his sculpted chest flatteringly. Levi resisted the urge to look down at his own undoubtedly crumpled outfit, knowing it would only make him all the more self-conscious. As if Eren hadn’t already taken a heavy enough toll on his self-esteem.

Levi knew, even as he smiled up at the tall blond, that maybe he’d had enough to drink already. “Oh, hey Erwin! Fancy seeing you here.” His alcohol-addled brain finally caught up with the situation and he gawked up at the gigantic man. “Wait a second – you’re  _gay?!_ ”

Erwin arched one of his magnificent eyebrows, looking down at Levi with amusement. “Are you?” He countered.

“What? No!” Levi looked around before he spotted Eren nearby and yanked the younger man to his side by the arm. “I’m with him.” Eren blinked around a bit, confused by the new situation, but he soon recognized Levi and smiled sleepily, curling over to rest his head on Levi’s shoulder with a happy little hum.

Erwin appraised the young brunet with amusement. “Is that supposed to convince me otherwise?”

“Your friend is cute,” Eren mumbled against Levi’s shoulder. Levi pulled a face at Eren’s mop of hair ticking his chin.

“The hell? Don’t flirt with him. Besides, I thought you said big and blond wasn’t your type.”

“S’not. I was talking to him,” Eren slurred. Levi turned his puzzled gaze on Erwin. It was probably about time to take him home now.

Erwin heaved a patient sigh before translating. “He meant he was talking to  _me_  about  _you_. He thinks you’re cute.”

Levi squinted at Erwin as he processed the words before turning back down to consider the boy resting on his shoulder.

“Huh.”

****************

 

 **_[Erwin]:_ ** _I found a different bar near my place. Let me know when your shifts over and I’ll send you the address. No excuses this time, Levi._

Levi stared at the last message he’d received blankly. The station was practically empty now; everyone had gone home already but these days Levi had developed a habit of staying behind late to do what investigating he could, although so far his efforts had been fruitless.

He shot off a reply to Erwin letting him know that he was leaving the station before returning to stare unseeingly at his phone. His fingers worked on autopilot, instinctively opening up his message history with Eren as he always did after work. There should be at least one new message by now, asking him when he’d be home or what he wanted to eat for dinner. Perhaps letting him know that Isabel had successfully demanded take-out and so he had been commissioned with the task of picking up their order on his way home.

But of course there was nothing.

Levi scrolled down to the most recent few messages. They were all from him, sent without really thinking. Requests to buy hand soap and milk next time he went shopping. Asking, in a fit of absentmindedness, where he was after Levi had returned to find the house empty and before realization had struck him. Levi’s fingers itched over the keyboard and finally he succumbed, typing out a quick message and pressing send before he changed his mind. Snatching up his suit jacket and switching off his desk lamp, Levi swept out of the darkened office and headed towards the carpark and the promise of decent beer and slightly better company.

He never received a response, not that he was expecting one, but that didn’t stop him from sending another message each day after work from then on.

Just in case.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Riverside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjncyiuwwXQ) by Agnes Obel

Levi ducked out from under Eren’s arm and let the boy fall back unceremonious onto the faded brown sofa. He watched Eren shoved aside the assortment of cushions that had toppled on top of him, squinting up at Levi with a disgruntled expression. Levi shook his head and sighed.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with you?”

“Where’s your sister? I thought you said you had a little sister.” Eren looked around the spacious living room as if expecting Isabel to appear any moment. “Woah, you have a big house.” He turned to narrow his eyes at Levi suspiciously. “You said you were a cop; how do you have such a big house? Do you do shady, under-the-table deals? Is that it?”

“What exactly was your plan tonight? Get black-out drunk and then what, go home with the first guy who showed interest?” Levi ignored Eren’s deluge of questions and slammed down a glass of water on the coffee table before the brunet with a firm order to ‘ _drink’_. He didn’t wait for a response before continuing.

“What if I wasn’t there? You were planning on doing all of this on your own, don’t you think about what could have happened to you? It’s because of people like you that I have to wake up early in the morning to drive out to a ditch somewhere on the highway to identify bloody remains.” All Levi could think about was Isabel; they were practically one and the same. Would Isabel do such a reckless, thoughtless thing someday? Go out alone to a strange bar in an unfamiliar city and get so wasted she couldn’t remember her own address? Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and took several deep breaths. The effect of alcohol had long since started to fade, and the long trek back to his house in the freezing cold of the early morning had ridded his system of any residual buzz.

“Levi, relax. I’m not a fucking baby I can take care of myself.” Levi whirled around to fix Eren with a fierce glare and remind him that yes, he was a fucking baby who was incapable of self-care for all Levi was concerned, but he stopped short. Eren was sitting up properly now, no longer rolling around the mass of cushions that Isabel had accumulated over time insisting they were ‘homey’, and watching Levi with relative lucidity.

“You’re… not drunk?” Sure, Levi had thought it was a little unusual the way Eren was carrying on long after they’d left the bar. He was a tall guy and an athlete; he should have recovered long ago and perhaps even before Levi.

Eren shrugged and reached for the water glass. “Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’.

“What the fuck?”

“Are you sure you’re not gay?” Eren fixed Levi with a look that seemed to say ‘ _consider it_ ’.

“What the _fuck_?” Levi repeated. He continued to stare at Eren with disbelief as he got up from the sofa and made his way over to where Levi stood with his back leaning against the kitchen bench. He came to stand directly in front of Levi and reached over to take his hand right hand which had been resting against the bench as support.

“I’m really into you, Levi.” Eren’s fingers were soft but sure, dancing along Levi’s knuckles with feather light touches. His voice was quiet and low, and he looked up at the older man, almost shyly, from behind a curtain of messy brown bangs. Levi had only turned the hallway light on – it was all he’d been able to manage under Eren’s deadweight as he’d stumbled in the front door – and the warm orange glow reflected off the deep green of Eren’s eyes intimately. Bedroom eyes. Eren was making bedroom eyes at him.

“You don’t even know me.” Why was he whispering back? The house was so dark and quiet save for the warbling of awakening magpies outside. With Eren pressed up so close to him watching him with such attentiveness he felt like anything louder than a murmur would shatter the intimate illusion. “I could be an axe-murderer for all you know.” Eren blinked at his words and cracked a dimpled grin.

“A cop by day, serial killer by night.” He leaned forward, hot breath ghosting over Levi’s earlobe. Some distant fragment of Levi’s mind was aware of the fact that sometime during the exchange, Eren had lifted the hem of his turtleneck and slipped Levi’s hand underneath. His skin was warm and smooth, his stomach muscles firm under his touch. “That’s kind of hot.”

“You’re kind of fucked up if murder turns you on.” Eren laughed quietly, his hair tickling Levi’s cheek. What the hell was he doing? Levi’s heart hammered loudly against his ribcage and he was almost certain Eren could hear it too. His throat felt dry and no matter how many times he swallowed, it wasn’t going away.

“I-I’m not gay.” It didn’t sound particularly convincing when he said it out loud; his voice came out hoarse and weak.

“Say’s the guy running his fingers down another man’s abs.” Levi snatched back his hand as if he’d been burned, clutching it against his chest and staring up at the younger man towering over him. He didn’t even know this guy. He’d let this man into his home and now he had him cornered against the kitchen islet, looking down at him ravenously. He should be scared, or at the very least wary, but he found he was neither. Eren’s face was close enough to his that he could make out the light smattering of freckles across his nose and over his cheekbones. His iris’, on closer inspection, had shards of amber amongst the deep green and the tiniest scar was visible down the edge of his left eyebrow, a faint pink line on tan brown skin.

“When was the last time you kissed someone, Levi?” Eren’s voice was a quiet murmur and a breath of hot air against his brow. He smelled like sweat, alcohol and an unfamiliar, tangy cologne. His body radiated a welcome heat in the frigid cool of the winter morning. Levi didn’t know the answer to the question; he couldn’t think. He was too old for casual hook-ups, whatever Hanji might say, and he hadn’t gone out on a date in – what – well over a year?

“Can I kiss you, Levi?” _Why not?_ The instantaneous response in his head made Levi wonder if there was perhaps any more alcohol lingering in his system. It was such a careless, reckless response. It was not like him. But then again, he couldn’t fault it. _Why_ not? It had been so long since he’d held another person’s body against his, felt another person’s lips against his own or put work and Isabel aside for a moment to just do something for the sake of his own pleasure. And why not a man? Why not Eren, to be specific? A day ago, the idea of kissing a man would have struck him as absurd, but now with Eren so close to him, his lips hovering inches above his own, pink, soft and inviting; _why not?_

Levi didn’t respond with words. He pushed up on his toes, but his aim was slightly off and his movements clumsy. His lips met the corner of Eren’s mouth and their noses bumped together awkwardly. Eren recoiled with a surprised huff of air before pausing to consider Levi, his brows furrowed ever so slightly as he blinked down at Levi with surprise. _Are you sure?_ His expression seemed to ask. Levi’s eyes darted between Eren’s eyes and mouth expectantly. _Yes_ , he was fucking sure. He possibly may have never been surer of anything in his life.

Eren caught on quickly and, apparently afraid Levi would change his mind if he hesitated any longer, descended on him immediately; all tongue, teeth, and unbridled enthusiasm that somehow seemed entirely Eren’s style and was not half as bad as it sounded. It was messy, passionate, and desperate; Levi hadn’t kissed someone like this since back in his college days probably. He felt far too old for this, but at the same time, there was a spark of fire in his lower belly that he hadn’t felt in years. This felt… thrilling. He was excited, intrigued by the boy in front of him and eager for wherever this would end up. Eren cradled Levi’s face between both hands with a gentleness that contrasted with his frenzied kisses, pressing so close to Levi’s body that the edge of the kitchen bench dug into his lower back almost painfully.

After what felt like ages but at the same time not that long at all, they parted for air, resting their foreheads together as they caught their breaths and stared into the others eyes as if trying to come to terms with what had just transpired. Levi realized that sometime during their kiss he’d fisted both hands in the fabric of Eren’s shirt, tugging so hard that the dark fabric had ridden up over his abdomen. Eren’s bare skin felt hot pressed against his abdomen, the sculpted muscle flush against the thin fabric of his own crumped work shirt.

Eren’s pupils were blown wide with arousal and they darted between Levi’s as he searched for some sort of reaction. His lips were moistened and pink. _Inviting_.  Oh, the things Levi wanted to do to that mouth could only be described as sinful. Some small aspect of Levi’s brain recognized that, while he was mostly sober now, there must still be enough of a lingering buzz for him to be enjoying this as much as he was now without overthinking the implications of his actions in the long run. This was fun, this felt good; what use would come of stressing about it now? It’s not like tonight would repeat itself; Eren would be leaving in a day or two once his tour ended. Levi would remember to get him to sign something for Isabel before he left, and then he could wash his hands of tonight and all the memories. Hanji would be impressed with his recklessness if they ever found out, which of course they wouldn’t.

Having rationalized everything in his head, Levi took a deep breath and allowed himself a small smile.

“What say you we take this to the bedroom?”

Eren’s uncertain expression melted away into a wide grin, his green eyes twinkling in the dull orange glow of the subdued lighting.  He tipped back on his heels, perfect row of white teeth biting at his lower lip as he raked his eyes hungrily over Levi’s dishevelled appearance. With him watching Levi like that, he didn’t need to respond for Levi to know his answer. The older man grabbed Eren by the hand and led the way to the master bedroom, not even bothering to turn off the hallway light after him.

For all his false bravado, Levi had no idea what he was doing. There was a familiar stir of nerves and apprehension in his belly, but hell if he was going to turn back now.

Something told him he wouldn’t regret this.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Levi stared blankly at the half typed e-mail on the computer monitor before him, the small black characters blurring together meaninglessly on screen as his fingers hovered over the keyboard. Over and over again he tried to reread what he’d already typed out, but his mind just wasn’t focusing, drifting off halfway through the first sentence.

_Petra,_

_Regarding the files on the Proctor case that I requested for…_

_Petra,_

_Regarding the files…_

_Petra,_

_Regarding…_

Suddenly, Levi’s ears pricked up at the sound of Eren’s name. He was instantly on high alert, whipping around in his office chair in the direction of the overheard conversation. Eren’s name wasn’t exactly rare to hear in the office nowadays; he was after all their highest profile case, but Levi still couldn’t help but start every time he heard those key words.

Erd and Gunter were standing by the coffee machine, picking through the half-stale leftovers from yesterday’s donut-run with heads bowed together as they talked.

“What, they’re only interviewing her _now_? Wouldn’t she have been a priority?” Erd was mumbling through a mouth stuffed full of éclair.

“Yeah but she was on Vac-work in Nedlay and only just landed. I mean, they did a preliminary video call, but she insisted on coming over for obvious reasons.”

“Shit man, that’s gotta be tough. They didn’t have much family. I hope she has a good support base; imagine having to cope with your little brother’s disappearance on your last year of med school.”

“Kidnapping, not disappearance.” The two men jumped at Levi’s unexpected interjection, whirling around to face him.

“Oh, huh, Levi. Didn’t hear you there,” Erd glanced at Gunter with confusion. They’re surprise wasn’t unexpected, Levi hadn’t directly approached any of his co-workers to start conversation for days unless it was work related.

“Actually Levi, it’s still being counted as disappearances since we’ve yet to receive any sort of indication Eren was taken without his consent…” Gunter’s voice faltered under the dark look Levi shot his way. It _was_ a kidnapping. Eren wouldn’t leave like that; of course only _he_ knew that.

“Did I hear you mention something about a witness coming over?” Levi hadn’t been informed of any such thing, and he’d been making sure to keep tabs on the Jaeger case even though his own workload was rapidly multiplying. If he’d heard correctly, they’d been talking about Mikasa. He had only spoken to her through phone calls since the kidnapping, both providing the other with the reassurance and hope they’d sorely needed. He knew she was coming down as soon as her schedule cleared up, but he hadn’t heard a set date yet. This was news to him.

“Yeah, Eren’s adoptive sister. Actually she’s down already, arrived this morning and headed straight for the interview.” _No_. “She’s been in there for a while now.” Gunter indicated over his shoulder towards the interview room with a jerk of his thumb, and Levi followed the movement with wide eyes. Oh God no, why hadn’t she told him?!

“Shit.” Levi began walking towards the interview room, his steps speeding up with urgency as he approached. He could see movements through the draw blinds. He needed to talk to Mikasa before she said too much about Levi and Eren’s involvement. If Pixis’ found out about their relationship, Levi would be pulled off the case instantly. Mikasa didn’t even know which precinct Levi worked in, just that he was a detective, so it wouldn’t occur to her.

Levi froze as the door opened and Farlan stepped out, face looking haggard and tired with a clipboard under one arm and coffee mug in hand. The blond looked up and his eyes widened. Levi could just tell by the look on his face that it was too late. Farlan knew. Levi had barely begun to mouth at him to not tell Pixis when the chief himself stepped out of the room.

The older man paused at the sight of Levi, his eyes hard and serious. While Pixis took his job very seriously, he was an overall cheerful and laid-back guy. Nonetheless, even Levi knew he drew a very definite line when it came to work. He felt like his stomach had turned to lead as his eyes shifted between Farlan’s wide and shocked  ones and back to Pixis’ steely, unyielding gaze.

Levi’s eyes were drawn to Mikasa who stepped out behind the bald man, head bowed and all wrapped up in several layers of jumpers and coats with fingers wrapped around a mug. She had never looked so small and vulnerable. Mikasa was usually all cool, collected and unflappable demeanour, looking completely in control of whatever situation she was placed in. Sure, he had expected this situation to take some toll on her, and it had been evident in the waver he’d always heard in her voice when they spoke on the phone, but to see the confronting effects of it now right in front of him really drove it all home. He wondered if it was as obvious on him. Mikasa’s eyes widened at the sight of him, and the smallest, weary smile stretched across her lips.

“Levi! I didn’t expect to see you here.” No, of course you didn’t. Pixis looked from the young woman behind him and back to Levi, face not once faltering from his stern expression.

“Ackerman; my office. _Now_.” Mikasa looked startled by Pixis’ sharp tone, looking to Levi questioningly. He only shook his head slightly in response, offering a small, reassuring smile.

“Yes sir,” he said with a nod as Pixis stormed away in the direction of his office. He paused by Mikasa’s side before following, resting a hand lightly on her forearm. He’d never been good with words, preferring to offer comfort through proximity or actions instead, so he didn’t try to be too eloquent now.  “I’ll talk to you soon. There are donuts in the break room if you’re hungry. Farlan here will take care of you.” Mikasa nodded meekly, although her eyes were still sharp with concern and suspicion.

He was turning away to hurry to Pixis’ office when Farlan seizing him by the elbow, effectively holding him in place.

“Dude, we have to talk.” Despite his casual vernacular, the blond’s eyes were solemn and serious. He had a lot of questions, and there was even a tinge of betrayal there. Levi had kept Eren a secret from him, and while that was unprofessional of him as a co-worker, it was clear Farlan was more betrayed from the position of a friend. Levi nodded once, eyes downcast, and Farlan released him without another word.

Silently, and with the pit in his stomach growing with dread, Levi made his way to Chief Pixis’ office.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Total Eclipse of the Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lUYsvoFtIo) by Sleeping At Last
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Someone pointed out how Farlan calling Levi gay in this chapter is inaccurate and I realised I should probably put in a note about that in case it upsets anyone. The context isn't malicious, Farlan is just very ignorant on the matter. I wrote him that way intentionally and I had him specifically say 'gay' on purpose as well. I apologise if I offend anyone.

Farlan looked up from his computer when he heard the sound of Pixis’ office door opening. Levi emerged, expression unreadable, before quietly closing the door behind him and storming off in the direction of the filing room.

“Levi?” The dark haired man either didn’t hear or was ignoring him, stalking right past his desk with gaze fixed straight ahead. Farlan shoved his chair back and quickly scurried after his co-worker. He could take a pretty good guess at what Chief Pixis had said to say and could understand if Levi was upset, but his face looked impassive as always. Farlan was worried. He’d noticed these past few days that something had been weighing down on his friends conscience – in hindsight it  _had_  started around the same time as Jaeger’s disappearance – and only now were the pieces of the puzzle finally sliding into place. He couldn’t imagine what Levi was going through; that fact that everyone in the office had been able to tell something was off with the usually unreadable detective was the biggest alarm bell. How had he not connected the dots? Why hadn’t he inquired further? What kind of friend was he to not worry more when one of his oldest friends was clearly so distressed?

Levi wasn’t responding at all to Farlan. People took one look at Levi charging through the office and practically leapt out of his way as he made a bee-line to the filing room. Ah, the filing room! Perhaps that was a good idea; they could have some privacy in there. Yes, that was good thinking. Except that the moment Levi entered, he slammed the door behind him straight in Farlan’s face. Farlan heard the lock click, but tried the doorknob nonetheless. Yep, it was locked.

“Levi?” He called tentatively, knocking softly on the door. There was no response. A couple of the people nearby were looking his way curiously now and Farlan smiled back uncomfortably, willing them to return to their work. His attention was jerked back to the door when he heard the sound of something crashing loudly to the ground from the other side.

“Levi!” he knocked a little louder now, slightly alarmed. Had he collapsed? Maybe dragging a shelf down with him? There was another crash, similar to the first, followed by two more. Farlan could hear the muffled grunts of exertion from his side of the door. Levi was throwing the boxes of paper work. “Levi?! Open the door!  _Levi_!” He heard a loud sniff. Was he…  _crying_?! Farlan hammered on the copy room door, ignoring the blatant stares around him as he shouted Levi’s name, desperate for a response. He should have known better than to fall for his composed veneer. Levi had finally cracked.

“Farlan! What on earth is going on?!” Petra appeared at his side, eyes wide as she looked from him to the door. She flinched at the sound of another box of files hitting the floor. “Is that Levi?”

“Where’s Hanji?” Farlan demanded. If anyone knew about Levi and Eren, it would have been Levi’s partner and closest friend. They were the only person who was likely to know enough about the situation and Levi enough to calm the latter down.

“They’re not in today, called in sick. Farlan, what happened to him?!” Petra asked, distressed.  _Shit_. Farlan stood back and fisted his fingers in his hair as he considered his options. Since he couldn’t rely on Hanji to coax Levi out, he needed a way to enter instead. Could he kick down the door? No, that was a little drastic.

“Key!” He turned around to seize Petra by the shoulders. The short redhead looked up at him with alarm. “Spare key! Petra, where’s Oluo?” Petra caught on immediately, her blue eyes lighting up before she told him to wait there and hurried off.

It felt like an age before Petra finally returned, holding up the chain of master keys like a victory torch as she jogged towards him. Levi must have ripped through half of the rooms filing by now. Farlan’s fumbled with the keys, trying each one before finally managing to clumsily unlock the door.

“I’ll take care of this,” he murmured to Petra who was anxiously twisting her hands in the fabric of her cardigan. She pursed her lips apprehensively but nodded and he slipped through the door, closing it behind himself with a quiet click.

 

**********************

 

“Your black tea, sir. No sugar.” Levi murmured a thank you as their usual waitress – Pamela, her nametag read – placed the pot and a cup down in front of him. “Brought a friend today?” He looked up. She never usually made conversation.

The pretty blonde was looking between him and Eren, eyes sparkling knowingly. He opened him mouth to correct her it before it hit him that she wasn’t entirely wrong in her assumption. His mouth snapped shut and Levi frowned down at the teacup before him.

“This is Eren!” Isabel pitched in, leaning in over the laminate diner table of their booth to grin widely at Pamela. “He came to drop me off at my classes too today.”

“Oh! Well, it’s very nice to meet you,  _Eren_.” Pamela turned to shoot her commercial smile at the brunet sitting beside Levi with his mouth stuffed with blueberry muffin. Eren nodded back, mouth awkwardly stretching into something resembling a smile. “Well, enjoy your meal, folks. If you need anything, give me a shout!” With a flawless flick of her curls, Pamela sauntered away from their table.

“…So you’ve been dancing since you were little?” Isabel asked, continuing their conversation from before Pamela had arrived. Eren hummed and nodded, swallowing his mouthful with a wince.   
“Don’t choke, brat. Chew before you swallow,” Levi chided, only to have Eren wave him off with a grin.

“Yeah, my mum was a ballet instructor. I used to sit in with her when she taught her classes and eventually started joining once I could stand up by myself. I’ve pretty much been dancing since I could walk.”

“That’s so cool!” Isabel sighed, leaning on one hand as she gazed at Eren wistfully. “I wish I could dance.”

“You have two left feet, Bella.” Levi reminded her over his tea cup. Isabel shot him a glare and stuck out her tongue.

“You can play the cello, though,” Eren said. “Someday you can join an orchestra and maybe play during shows. Maybe you could play for me!” Isabel’s eyes instantly brightened, and she sat up in her side of the booth.

“Oh my God, can we try that? I could play for you and you could dance! Oh that would be amazing; Levi, imagine!” Levi, who had for the most part been sidled out of their energetic conversation, smiled fondly at his little sister. Honestly, he had been right. Their combined enthusiasm was nothing short of exhausting, especially this early in the morning. His eyes flicked over to meet Eren’s, who was watching him with a similar smile on his own face.

“Do you want to see me dance, Levi?” Eren asked, green eyes twinkling. Isabel didn’t notice, but there was definitely a mischievous spark in his gaze as he asked, an underlying message in the question.

“I’ve already seen you dance.” Levi fought to keep his expression neutral, but he had a suspicion his eyes betrayed him. He’d been ensnared by the boy from the moment he’d first seen him dance, although it had apparently taken a drunken night out in a gay club for him to realise it. Yes, in fact he  _would_  like to see Eren dance again. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it.

Eren had taken him and Isabel to the studio the other day to introduce Isabel to the rest of the dancers and give her an exclusive tour, and then let them hang around to watch the dancers rehearse. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy, despite all the other ballet dancers on the floor. Eren had leapt and glided like gravity didn’t exist. He made it look so effortless, floating around the studio with inhumane grace. The core strength that must have been necessary to execute some of those moves without breaking a sweat must have been unreal. Then again, Levi had experiences first hand that strength. And that  _flexibility_.

Levi burst into a coughing fit, thumping at his chest as the tea went down the wrong pipe. Eren smirked at him knowingly; he might not know exactly what Levi had been thinking of, but he could probably take a pretty good guess at what was making the older man’s face blush crimson.   
“Isabel, it’s almost nine. You’re going to be late for class,” Levi spluttered once he’d recovered. Isabel’s green eyes widened and she glanced down at her phone.

“Oh shoot! Okay, okay I’m going. Bye Levi!” His sister leaned over the table and Levi leaned forward to receive her kiss to his forehead.

“Go on, get out.” She wouldn’t really be late, her cello class was just across the street after all.

Isabel beamed and Levi watched with amusement as she clumsily manoeuvring herself out of the booth, almost tripping over her backpack when she finally managed to eject herself. She could never be a dancer.

“Bye Eren, will I see you when I’m done?” She asked, eyes hopeful as she watched the younger man. Those puppy eyes weren’t fair game; Levi almost pitied the other man.

“That depends on whether or not your brother lets me hang around. I think I annoy him.” Eren shot him a sly look over his shoulder and Levi glared back. Don’t put this on  _him_.

“Don’t you have rehearsals or something to do?” Levi hissed.

“Levi, be nice to Eren. He is a guest and my friend.” Isabel ordered, hands on her hips and she stared him down firmly. Jesus Christ, he should have known these two would gang up against him.

“Yeah Levi, you better treat me real good.” No don’t wink at me, Levi thought. He was more than capable of reading between the lines.

“Bella,  _go_.” Isabel pulled a face.

“ _Okay_. Bye Eren!” she said brightly, leaning down to plant a kiss on his forehead as well before practically skipping out of the small diner. Levi watched her leave with a look of betrayal.

“Why do you get a kiss? Only I get goodbye kisses.” Eren laughed at his petulant frown, poking the lines that had formed between his brows until they smoothed out.

“Looks like I’m officially part of the family.” Eren’s wide grin faltered into an awkward one when he caught sight of Levi’s expression. “…Sorry, was that weird?”

Levi looked down at his empty cup before reaching over to the teapot for a refill. “Don’t you have packing to do? Isabel said you guys are scheduled to leave in the next few days.” It wasn’t the smoothest subject change, but there wasn’t really a smooth way to switch from that topic. Then again, it’s not like it was completely unrelated.

They’d never discussed that night they’d spent together. When they’d woken up the next morning, their conversation had been surprisingly light and comfortable. Levi had made Eren breakfast and offered to drop him off wherever he needed to go, but Eren had declined saying he wanted to walk anyway. When he’d been about to leave, Eren had taken a scrap of paper out of his pocket and scribbled down his number. When Levi had hesitated to take it, Eren didn’t look put off at all.

“I’d like to meet your sister when she gets back. Maybe if she likes I could arrange a tour of the studio just for her?” That had been a good excuse. Levi took the scrap and Eren grinned.

Levi hadn’t regretted the night. He hadn’t been drunk, it hadn’t been a mistake, and it had actually been really good. So fucking good, Jesus Christ. He’d spent a good portion of that afternoon trying to decide if it had been a bad reflection on his sexual history, or if Eren was just a head and shoulders above normal. He settled on the latter for his own pride.

He’d come to terms with their encounter, appreciating it but also recognizing that it was just a one-time thing. The boy would be leaving soon; his tour would be heading off to their next location and on to the next guy in the next city. That was Eren’s life, he needed to accept that.

Except when he’d brought Isabel to the studio and she’d gone off to chat animatedly with all the other dancers, Eren had come up to where he’d been leaning by the doorframe a little ways off. They stood together in a comfortable silence, watching Isabel’s unbridled enthusiasm with fond smiles. Levi couldn’t help but notice there weren’t many people he could share comfortable silences with, especially not on the second day of meeting them.

Even after rehearsals were over, Levi noticed how Eren continued to hover around him despite his friends congregating to talk elsewhere. He didn’t seem to have anything to say, just enjoyed being in Levi’s presence or something, which was alarming since no one in their right mind should. It reminded him of their time back in the club when despite all the other candidates, Eren had continued to hang around him. Except it couldn’t be the same; Eren had wanted to sleep with him then. Now that he’d gotten what he wanted, why else would he continue?

“Ahh, yeah. About that…” Eren looked down at his hot chocolate, poking at a dissolving marshmellow with his teaspoon. “I’m not actually leaving?” Levi put down his tea cup and frowned at the younger man, who seemed to be so hell-bent on capsizing that particular marshmellow that he couldn’t even meet Levi’s eye.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve enrolled in Sina University and will be starting this semester.”

“That’s… good? Can I ask why?” Eren was staying in this city? That would be necessary if he intended on studying at Sina. Eren shrugged and put down his spoon, shuffling around in the booth to face Levi but still not looking up to meet his gaze.

“I want to be a dance instructor someday, like mum. Mikasa said I should maybe look into getting a degree now to help me with that, and also since I can’t dance forever. I told you about Mikasa, right? My sister?” Levi vaguely recalled Eren mentioning her during their idle chit-chat over breakfast the morning after. “She’s studying medicine in Sina, so I figured I’d join her here too.”   
“That’s really good, Eren. What about dancing, though?” Eren finally looked up and Levi was relieved to see he didn’t look upset. Talking about dancing seemed to make him light up no matter what the situation. It was sort of cute.

“It’s okay; I mean, I’ll miss the team and the travelling and everything, but I’ll join a local school or something. I’m not going to stop dancing.”

“You have everything sorted out, then? Your enrolment, your accommodation…?” Eren pulled a face at the last one.

“Um, still working on a place to stay. Mikasa’s in a dorm so I can’t stay with her and I have another friend, Armin, who’s in a share house. I can crash with him for a couple days until I find a more permanent arrangement, but I’m still kind of lost.” He smiled ruefully and shrugged.

“We have a spare room I’ve been considering renting out for a while, actually…” Shit. Why had he said that? Almost reluctantly Levi turned to meet Eren’s gaze. That was a weird thing to say, right? To offer your one-night-stand your spare room for rent, wouldn’t that be awkward and uncomfortable?

Except Levi was surprised to see Eren was watching him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Are you serious right now? You’d actually do that?!”

He… didn’t  _look_  freaked out or uncomfortable? Quite the opposite actually.

“You’d really be okay with that? I mean, after…?” Eren probed, unconsciously leaning forward into Levi’s space. Levi’s eyes flickered between Eren’s wide green eyes and down to where his sun-kissed collar bones peeked temptingly from the collar of his shirt.

“It’s fine.” Levi swallowed and dragged his gaze back up to meet Eren’s. “I hardly think about it.”

Eren blinked and his thick brows pulled down slightly. His eye’s flickered with something that disappeared too fast for Levi to identify, but then he was smiling again, that big dimpled smile that had his eyes crinkling up in a way that made Levi’s heart hurt.

“Thank you, Levi! I promise you won’t regret this.”

And he didn’t.

 

**********************

 

Levi seemed to have finished his rampage when Farlan entered. He followed the trail of destruction – a literal paper trail – through to the back of the room. Cardboard boxes had been wrenched from their place on the shelf and flung across the floor, spilling their carefully archived contents around the faded carpet. The place was a mess. Farlan would never have guessed Levi was capable of creating such disorder, he’d just assumed it would go against his fundamental wiring and short circuit or something. Levi hated mess.

He finally located the man himself right at the back of the room with a box of case files scattered around him like a halo of destruction. He was seated on the floor, leaning against the far wall by the window with his face in his hands. Farlan approached him carefully, tip-toeing around the pages splayed across the carpet like he was afraid any sharp movements or noise would set Levi off again. His apprehension was justified; he’d never in his entire history of knowing Levi seen him behave like this. He doubted anyone had, or that anyone would believe him capable of doing so if he tried telling them.

Levi must have known he was there, but he made no sign of acknowledging his presence. Farlan waited for several long minutes hoping Levi would break the silence when he was ready, but it was soon evident that he was probably capable of staying in that same position without moving or talking for hours should he be left to it.

“Levi..?” Farlan ventured closer and dropped to a crouch a few feet away. Levi didn’t respond. Fine then. He made himself comfortable, leaning up against the side of one of the filing shelves and resigning himself to stare out the window at the grey rainclouds drifting sluggishly overhead. He was willing to wait as long as necessary.

It must have been ten minutes before Levi finally spoke up. His voice was so quiet Farlan did a double take and wondered if he’d been hearing things; Levi still hadn’t moved an inch.

“Pixis pulled me off the case,” Levi repeated a little louder, although his voice was stiff muffled through his hands. Farlan hesitated, considering how to approach the issue. He wasn’t surprised Levi had been pulled; it was basic common sense that people couldn’t work on cases they had some personal attachment to. There was the obvious issue of any conflicts of interest that could arise and possibly hinder the progress of the investigation. Levi was no newbie, he had no excuse for his behaviour and Pixis must have really torn into him for it.

“Yeah, I figured.” Farlan sighed and combed a hand through his hair. “So it’s really true, huh?” Farlan forged on when Levi made no sound. “You actually were…  _involved_  with that kid.”

“Eren.”

“Huh?” Levi finally lifted his head from his hands and Farlan had to keep himself from shamelessly gawking at his appearance. Levi’s eyes with sunken, slightly red and ringed with dark circles. His short, dark eyelashes had clumped together and his nose was looking raw and pink. There was no doubt about it, he had been crying. As if to further confirm Farlan’s startling discovery, Levi sniffed loudly and looked away.

“His name is Eren.”

“Oh… right.” How was he supposed to approach this topic? It was awkward and unusual. How do you ask your oldest friend about his partner who you didn’t know existed until he was kidnapped? Hell, Farlan didn’t even know Levi was  _gay_. How did he bring  _that_  up?

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle this now. The only thing that kept me together was feeling useful by throwing myself into the investigation. I at least felt like I was getting something done to help him.” Levi pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Sift through paperwork and sit on the sidelines with my thumbs up my ass not knowing what the fuck is going on?” Levi spat the words out through gritted teeth. He’s knuckles were going white with the force with which he was balling his fists. “I’m going to go crazy.”

“Levi, I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but you have to appreciate there’s a reason there are rules like this in place. You’re a mess! I hate to say it, but it’s true. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re barely sleeping or eating right and you spend every waking hour of the day going over the same evidence over and over again hoping to find something new.” Farlan shook his head. “You need to distance yourself from this, for your own health as well as the good of this case. You’re stretched far too thin to be contributing anything useful to this.”

“I don’t care.” Levi glared out the window with bloodshot eyes. Farlan took the opportunity to take in Levi’s appearance in all its glory, the five day old stubble along his usually smooth jaw and his crumpled work shirt that he was almost certain was the same one he’d been wearing all week. Even his dark hair that was usually always brushed and parted over his forehead immaculately now hung in messy clumps or stuck up in every direction from his repeatedly running his fingers through it. “If I don’t do something, I’m going to lose it.” Levi squeezed his eyes shut and Farlan saw the tears that clung precariously to his dark lashes as shook his head, hoping if he willed it hard enough, this whole situation might disappear. He laughed, but it was a broken, strangled sound that came out sounding a lot more like a sob, and his lips twisted into a grimace. “I don’t know what to do. I feel so useless and stupid just sitting here on my ass while he’s out there somewhere probably scared out of his mind.” This thought seemed to remind Levi of what he’d been trying so hard not to think about.

Farlan was lost for words. How do you comfort the usually stoic and composed senior detective? What could he possibly hear that would put him at least a little at ease?

“Levi, I swear to you on my life that I will do everything in my power to find Eren and return him to you safely. I know my word isn’t much in the face of all this, but I need you to know that even if you can’t work on this anymore, you can count on me.”

Levi fixed his eyes on Farlan, searching his earnest gaze for any sign of doubt. He didn’t seem to find it. He nodded stiffly, but his eyes conveyed more gratitude than any words ever could. Farlan nodded back, expression grim but determined.

 

They stayed like that for a long while. Not speaking but drawing strength from each other’s company.

“Tell me about him,” Farlan finally said, breaking the solemn silence. Levi snorted and Farlan was surprised to see the ghost of a smile on his lips as he stared without seeing at the clock on the far wall.

“What do you want to know? There’s a lot to say.”

“Tell me everything. I want to know more about the person that finally caught your eye long enough for you to forget about work and Isabel for a second and fall in love.” Because that’s what Levi was. In love. There was no way a person could be in this much agony for anything less.

“Tell me about the first day you met him.” Farlan encouraged gently. Levi’s eyes grew distant and a nostalgic smile danced across his lips as for a moment his mind drifted back to happier days, a short respite from his constant torment.

How could a single person be capable of causing such anguish and yet also be the only source of relief? Farlan just couldn’t understand it. Love sounded like poison.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Two Men in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px42qZcCeRU) by The Irresistibles

“So, Bella...”

Isabel raised her eyebrows at him from where she lay on the living room carpet beside him with their shoulder pressed together. Her red hair, still damp from her shower, was plastered across the side of her face and the dappled sunlight filtering through the blue gum in the backyard danced across her features playfully. It was long past noon and Eren was supposed to be helping her with her Ancient History homework, but somewhere along the line they had gotten horribly side tracked.

“Yes, Eren?” Isabel prompted equally playfully.

“Any boys in your life?” The girls green eyes narrowed suspiciously and Eren tried to look as innocent as possible. He has his suspicions, he’d seen the way she’d perked up last night over the dinner table when Levi had mentioned some case he had with a fellow detective named Farlan. He grinned, eyes sparkling, and Isabel could only hold her composure for so long before she dissolved into giggles. She was no Levi after all.

“Who’s Farlan?” He urged, elbowing her gently. Isabel squealed and tried to roll away but Eren seized her around the middle and began to tickle her. Shrieking, she tried to fight back, but Eren was relentless. “Come on, I’ll stop if you tell me!” He laughed. Tears were rolling down the girls face, but Eren cackled evilly.

“Nooo stop it,” Isabel gasped, swatting at him. “You’re so evil. If Levi knew this side of you, I bet he wouldn’t—.” Isabel cut herself off abruptly by slapping both hands over her mouth, eyes widened. Eren immediately froze his assault, staring down at the breathless girl.

“What?” Isabel blinked up at him and shook her head resolutely. Eren sat back on his haunches and frowned down at her. “Bella, what were you going to say?”

“ _Nfthng_ ,” she said, her voice muffled through her hands still firmly clamped down over her lips. Eren smiled, but the frown remained. His heart raced in his chest and he tried desperately to assuage the frantic beating. He’d been boarding at Levi’s for two weeks now and they’d fallen into a comfortable domestic routine. Eren would wake up in the morning and prepare breakfast for everyone as well as packed lunches and then Levi would drop Isabel off in the morning at school and head to work. Isabel would get home first after school and Eren would usually arrive soon afterwards and they’d prepare dinner together for when Levi arrived in the evening. He’d expected it to be more awkward and uncomfortable; after all, he’d long since accepted that his attraction towards Levi was more than temporary lust and the continued proximity was hardly helping, but he found that the situation was better than he’d ever hoped. He was managing his feelings well and doing a good job keeping face in front of Levi and Isabel. Only Mikasa and Armin knew how he really felt about his landlord.

So what had Isabel been about to say? Was his situation really not as hopeless as he’d thought this whole time?

“ _Isabel_.” This time, he called her by her full name. Isabel frowned and let her hands fall aside to expose a pout.

“Okay, don’t you ‘ _Isabel’_ me, buddy,” She said, pointing a stern finger at him. She huffed at his confused expression. “I mean,” she propped herself up on her elbows and fixed him with a critical look “how dare you badger _me_ about my crush when you two have been circling each other for days now without actually doing anything? Honestly, sometimes I wonder who’s really the teenager girl out of us three.”

Eren laughed awkwardly. “What do you mean?” Okay, he’d been made. Clearly he’d either underestimated Isabel’s perceptiveness or had been a lot less discrete than he’d thought, but she’d clearly said ‘you two’ and ‘circling each other’, not just him.

“I’m _suffocating_ , Eren!” She wailed, rolling her eyes back dramatically and letting her head fall back limply. “In all the sexual tension!” She snapped her head back up and Eren jumped under her glare.

“Um…”

“For the love of God, you’re both grown men. I’ve had it up to here! I promised myself I’d stay out of it, but it’s pretty clear you two are hopeless on your own. Levi is…” Isabel’s face pinched up and she looked away. “It’s been a while since he’s really been interested in anyone so he’s kinda out of touch. Even more than that, he’s just never been very good at the whole interaction thing. You, on the other hand, have no excuse.”

“Hold on, hold on.” Eren held up both hands and sat back, crossing his legs underneath him and getting comfortable. Isabel mirrored his position and sat across from him, nodding encouragingly. “You… what you’re saying…” Eren massaged his temples. “Are you saying that Levi is interesting in _me_?”

Isabel released a long suffering sigh. “I don’t know what happened while I was at camp, but buddy, it must have been major.” Eren felt a blush creep up his neck at the mention of their spontaneous tryst. Isabel’s eyebrows rose but she didn’t comment, thank God. Eren had been in some pretty mortifying positions in his life, but confessing to a fifteen year old girl about the one night stand you had with their brother was one even he wasn’t prepared to endure. “He’s been acting funny ever since. I mean, it took me a while to figure to out. At first I thought it was a case he had going, he has a tendency to let it seep into his subconscious sometimes, but then it struck me that it had only started since you came into the picture. Then I started to focus on his behaviour when you were around compared to when you weren’t and then it struck me. Whenever I brought you up, he’s get all flustered as well.”

“Shit, Bella. You’ve been hanging around Levi too much.” She would make one hell of a detective too at this rate. More importantly, Isabel had just told him news that would relieve his pining, languishing heart of all the heartache he’d been putting it through. He couldn’t believe his ears. “You’re serious, though? You’re not kidding right? Please Bella, this isn’t funny.” Eren leant forward and clasped her hands between his, his voice imploring.

“Like hell it is. Do you know what I’ve been going through these past two weeks because of your two?” Isabel snapped before her stern expression relaxed into a grin. “Yeah, I’m serious.”

Eren was interrupted from throwing his arms around the girl by the sound of keys turning in the front door.

“That’ll be Levi…” Eren swallowed, turning to Isabel with wide, frantic eyes.

“What do I do?!” Isabel pulled a face.

“You’re asking _me_? Eren, I’m _fifteen_. I have a crush on a twenty-two year old cop and Zayn Malik. Not particularly in that order.”

Both turned to face the direction of the corridor when the sound of the front door opening and closing sounded.

“You guys home?” Levi called.

“Um, Uh… Yeah?” Eren’s voice came out weakly and Isabel stifled a giggle beside him that he shushed loudly. Levi wandered into the kitchen and frowned at where the two of them were still seated in the corner of the living room by the window, glancing between the two suspiciously before setting down the two plastic bags of groceries he’d been holding.

“You two going to help me make enchiladas?”

“Nope, going to Jamie’s to study.” Isabel hopped up and Eren glared at her back, betrayed.

“Since when?” Levi asked.

“Since Eren said I could.” The girl shrugged and skipped out of the room, although not before shooting Eren a wink over her shoulder.

Eren blinked up at Levi who was still staring after Isabel with a frown. He took a deep breath. Well, he may as well.

“So, Levi…”

 

****************

 

Levi watched the orange glow of the afternoon sun dance across the brown suede sofa as he sipped from his beer. Isabel’s cushion collection had been pushed off the couch and piled into the corner of the living room where she’d improvised a sort of nest out of spare blankets and throwovers. It was the part of the house that the last few patches of sunlight could filter in before the sun went down and the area that had served as Eren and Isabel’s designated study corner. Levi remembered returning home every evening to catch the duo giggling over Isabel’s textbooks, clearly no longer discussing school work. They’d freeze when they saw him and their gazes would snap back down to the exercise books as if they hadn’t just been caught in the act, struggling to hold in snickers.

He hadn’t come home to that sight in a while now, and he wasn’t sure how just a few weeks of routine could have such a drastic change to his lifestyle. The house felt so quiet now, and so much darker than he remembered it ever being. Isabel still sat in that corner every other evening, cushions piled up around her and doona thrown over her knobbly shoulders as she stared out vacantly at the gently sway of branches outside, textbooks lying open and forgotten beside her. Levi didn’t have the heart to remind her to study, she was clearly trying her hardest to find solace in old routine even if it only served to remind her of just how much was missing.

She was out today. Rescheduled cello classes after the lessons she’d missed these past few days, so he had the house to himself. Levi’s gaze fell to the unopened packet of cigarettes lying on the dining table before him. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to buy the pack on his way home from work; he hadn’t touched a smoke in years. He clenched his jaw and took another deep swig from the beer can.

He was contemplating taking a scalding hot shower to wash away the cravings when he heard the front door open.

“Isabel?” Levi sat up with a frown, straining his ears for a response. She shouldn’t be back for another half hour.

Instead, it was Farlan’s head that popped around the doorframe. He took in the scene with a critical frown, eyes pausing on the pack of cigarettes and narrowing.

“Leave you alone for one hour and you go starting up dirty habits again.” The blond stomped into the kitchen, shrugging off his peacoat and snatching up the packet which he then proceeded to stuff into one of the coat pockets. Levi made to protest before cutting himself off. Perhaps that was for the better.

“I hadn’t opened them,” he said defensively. Farlan scoffed.

“Fantastic! Now I can give ‘em them to my pops without looking stingy. Thanks mate,” He said, clapping Levi on the shoulder. He threw his coat over the back of the nearest couch and Levi didn’t have the heart to snap at him to use the coat hooks. He watched the younger man set a bright red re-useable shopping bag on the tabletop, eyeing the happy yellow ‘ _LiquorLand_ ’ logo emblazoned across the side suspiciously.

“What are you even doing here? Don’t you have work?” He should. He was even wearing his work suit with the badge still fastened to his belt. Must have driven straight here after work, if only to stop for the drinks.

“Clocked off early today. I’m fucking exhausted; Chief’s been working us like dogs since you got kicked off the balle-uh, _Jaeger_ case.” Farlan emphasized his sentiments with a loud sigh as he collapsed on the chair opposite Levi. The older man wasn’t surprised to hear that. He knew he had been doing far more than his allocated share of work when he’d been working on the case, so naturally once his workload had to be distributed between the remaining members of the investigative team it would have been a significant increase.

Levi nodded at the bag of alcohol. His own can was empty now, in fact he’d been considering a dash to the bottle-o across the street given that had been the last of his beer too.

“What did you get?”

“Few six packs. Carlton Dry.” Levi pulled a face but shrugged. He was in no position to be fussy.

“Have you just been sitting here all day or what?”

“Nah, dropped Bella at cello just earlier.” As if that were a day’s worth of work. God he felt so idle and useless.

“Damn, just missed her,” Farlan teased. He knew about Isabel’s crush; it was hard not to. Just put the two in the same room and the girl would go all starry-eyed and speechless. Speechless was saying a lot for Isabel.

“Fuck off, Farlan. It’s not even funny, she’s like eight years younger than you.”

“Seven,” the blond corrected with raised eyebrows. “And I’m sorry, but what’s the age gap between you and Eren again? Do remind me, detective.”

“Eren is a grown-ass man, you fucking pervert.” Levi kicked at Farlan beneath the table. He knew the other was just joking to get under his skin, and on some level he was grateful. Grateful for the distraction.

“Nine years, do I hear? Wow Levi, you filthy old man.” Levi responded by snatching Farlan’s beer out of his hand and sculling the remaining contents in one go. He pulled a face at the bitter liquid that burned down his throat. Fuck, he hated beer. But he’d finished the last of his whiskey on Wednesday.

Farlan was watching him with sympathetic eyes when he looked back up and Levi automatically reached for a new bottle, avoiding those pitying amber eyes.

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, right?”

“And you’ll tell me if you find anything out.” Levi worded it more as a statement. An order. Farlan nodded, knowing it was the best he’d get from him tonight.

“Hanji’s finishing off the last of the paperwork now and said they’d grab me a copy when they were done. Oh that reminds me, when they heard I was heading over here they sort of invited themselves along…”

Levi snorted into his bottle. “Hanji’s coming here?” He hadn’t seen them since… well, Wednesday when his whiskey had also coincidentally run out. He’d never admit it out loud, but he’d sort of missed their vivacious company.

“Yeah, hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t stop them if I tried.” No he didn’t mind, although he understood why Farlan might have thought Levi might be too tired to tolerate them. They could be exhausting at times, but they were also one of his closest friends and one of the few who’d met Eren and known about their involvement. No one knew how to read his moods and act accordingly these days like Hanji did. They knew when to distract him and when to sit quietly and humour his desire to just talk about Eren.

“Nah, that’s fine.” Levi eyed the unopened six pack and the half finished one still sitting on the table. “But we’re gonna need more beer.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Work Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3g0d6Cgqyg) by Hozier is the song I had on repeat when I wrote this. If you want, you could maybe have it playing while you read; deal the killing blow and all:)

The sea breeze was freezing so early in the morning. Their small boat bobbed gently in the water as the soft waves swept against its hull, the rhythmic rocking lulling and calm. The sky was only just turning a pale pink along the distant horizon and Eren’s silhouette seemed to glow outlined against the pre-dawn sky. Soft and ethereal, staring out at the surf lost in a day dream. He only had a hand-stitched quilt thrown around his bare shoulders for cover as he sat on the prow, apparently completely unaffected by the biting cold. Then again, he always did have an abnormally high body temperature, the lucky brat.

Levi hurried the short distance from the cabin to Eren’s side, arms folded tightly and bracing against the wind. He slipped up soundlessly behind the younger man, crawling under the quilt and positioning his legs on either side of Eren’s body so he was pressed right up close to his warmth, his chest flush with Eren’s naked back.

“Good morning,” He murmured against Eren’s soft hair. He smelled freshly showered with the barest hint of sea salt mixed in with his natural scent. Eren leaned back into his embrace, resting his head against Levi’s shoulder and turning his head into Levi’s neck.

“G’morning.” Levi felt Eren’s sleepy smile against his skin and he turned to press a kiss to the soft lips tickling the underside of his jaw.

“I didn’t notice you leave.” He’d been more than slightly alarmed when he’d sleepily reached across the bed searching for Eren’s warmth only to feel empty bed sheets beside him. His first thought as he’d jerked awake had been that their whole boating getaway had been just a dream. Thankfully it wasn’t.

“I didn’t want to wake you, you looked peaceful,” Eren mumbled back. Levi wrapped his arms tighter around the boy’s body. He wanted to pull him closer, crush him against his chest until there was nothing left between them. Levi buried his nose in Eren’s hair, breathing in his scent. This whole situation, everything right now, was perfect. The two of them alone, skin against skin, tangled in each other’s limbs as the sun rose above them. Nothing else mattered in these few hours. He didn’t want it to ever end.

“Marry me,” he breathed. It took a moment for the words that had just passed his own lips to register in his mind, and at first he was startled. What had he just said? But then the more he thought about it, the more it just made sense. He’d never considered marriage before; it seemed like a possibility, sure, but not one to be contemplated for a while at least. But right now it sounded so good.

He felt Eren stiffen against him as he too seemed to belatedly process the sentence. Levi wasn’t concerned that the younger man would freak out for some reason, and waited patiently for his response. He felt Eren laugh, his whole body shaking against Levi’s own, warm breath tickling Levi’s neck and making goose bumps spread across his skin. Eren’s laugh could make his whole body heat up in an instant.

“Levi, you’ve only known me for a few months.”

“So?” His words were muffled against Eren’s hair and the boy in his arms giggled. As far as he was concerned, that sounded more than long enough. He was sure; there was nothing more to it.

“Gay marriage isn’t legal here. What about that, hm?” Eren challenged.

“We’ll go to New Zealand, then. I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“You’ve really thought this through.” Eren sounded a mixture of amused and impressed. His fingers traced light patterns on Levi’s forearms locking him firmly against his chest.

“Well?”

“Mikasa is in the middle of vac-work. Armin has to study as well, and I wouldn’t want Bella to miss school.”

“You’re avoiding the question,” Levi pressed. Eren hummed thoughtfully.

“You never actually asked me anything, though,” he said, voice playful. Levi made a sound of frustration and Eren threw his head back and laughed properly, all dimples, scrunched up eyes and white teeth. He looked so beautiful, this boy in his arms. Levi kissed Eren’s laughing lips, swallowing the glorious sound and tasting the salt on his skin. Eren tangled his fingers in Levi’s hair, tugging him in to deepen the kiss.

Levi pulled away first, drinking in the sight of Eren’s breathless and flushed face staring up at him adoringly, lips pink and pupils blown.

“Will you marry me, Eren?” He asked, this time properly. Eren grinned, green eyes sparkling and skin glowing golden in the muted sunlight.

“I don’t see a ring.”

 

***************

 

It was drizzling when Levi pulled into the work parking lot. Hanji was waiting for him by the precinct entrance, cup of coffee ready in each hand and bags under their bloodshot eyes. They offered him a tired smile as he approached, and Levi traded a coffee for a pastry he’d picked up on his way before they made their way inside.

“Meeting started already.” Levi grunted in acknowledgement. He didn’t used to ever run late, but it was starting to become a bad habit recently.

“Thanks for waiting up.” Hanji made a sound as if to say ‘don’t mention it’ and the two headed towards the boardroom.

Chief Pixis spared them each a reprimanding glare as they slipped in the back before he continued on with whatever the latest news was at the precinct. There were a couple new cases he debriefed, before mentioning any updates on running cases and notifying which others being pushed back in priority due to lack of any new evidence. Levi tried not to flinch at Eren’s name. He could feel Hanji’s keen gaze on him as though waiting for him to break or something. He pushed away the spike of irritation it brought; they were only looking out for him after all. He hid his face behind his coffee and kept his eyes on the debriefing board, although he wasn’t really hearing anything being said or reading any of the writing.

His eyes fell to Eren’s photo tacked onto the corner. God, he hated that picture now.

The jingle of a default ringtone suddenly punctuated the air, cheerful and out of place in the dull, lifeless room. Pixis paused mid-sentence, thunderous gaze sweeping the room as he searched for the foolish culprit who’d forgotten to set their phone to silent. Heads began to turn in confusion as the song continued on with no sign of stopping. Who the fuck was it?

“Levi,” Hanji hissed. “Levi that’s your phone!” Levi snapped back down to reality, realising somewhat belatedly that the faces turned in their direction were glaring at _him_ expectantly.

“What? Oh, shit.” He blinked before the words registered and he scrambled for the phone in his pocket. Who the hell was calling him _now_? His phone was usually set to silent these days, but he recalled increasing the volume just last night as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep. He’d ended up going to his voicemail bank and playing all of Eren’s last messages on repeat until the familiar voice on the other end lulled him into a dreamless slumber. But still, no one ever called his personal cell anymore because he stopped answering calls roughly the same time he stopped receiving the ones he cared about. So who was calling him now?

Levi heard Pixis pointedly clearing his throat from the front of the room and he stammered out a hurried apology. Fuck, the Chief had probably had it up to his ears with Levi’s shit over the past week already. He was really skating on thin ice. It was only morning and he’d already been late to the weekly meeting _and_ had his phone go off halfway through.

He finally pulled his phone out after what felt like an age, quickly glancing at the caller ID with the intention of yelling at whoever it was later.

Except suddenly he felt like all the air had been punched out of his lungs.

Levi’s finger froze over the power button at he stared with wide, disbelieving eyes at the picture of the grinning boy on his phone screen, bright green ‘ _accept call_ ’ blinking temptingly underneath his wide smile. He had to be seeing things.

“Levi, what are you doing? Hang up!” Hanji’s insistent whisper prodded at his lucidity, but he was having trouble focusing. He looked up at them, unable to form words. He must have looked like he’d seen a ghost or something too because they were suddenly looking a lot more concerned and alarmed than irritated. Hanji leaned over to look at Levi’s phone and he heard them gasp.

“Oh my God…”

“Levi, turn it off or _get out_ ,” Pixis’ snapped from the front. The other people in the room were starting to grumble under their breaths and shuffle around impatiently, throwing exasperated looks in their direction, but Levi wasn’t seeing any of it. His eyes were on his phone, heart hammering wildly, almost _painfully_ , against his ribcage.

“Chief, it’s Eren!” Levi was dimly aware of Hanji shouting in the background, although their voice sounded miles away. He heard Pixis shout instructions followed by confused mumbling as people slowly filed out of the room as they were ordered out. The group assigned to Eren’s case rushed around the boardroom, setting up recording and phone tracking equipment. Levi stared at the device in his hand, still cheerfully tinkling away as Eren beamed up at him.

“Levi, answer it!” Levi looked up at the Chief who was watching him intently. “What on earth are you waiting for, boy?! Pick it up!” And Levi did, with fumbling, hurried fingers that seemed to miss a thousand times trying to accept the call and then put it on speakerphone. His brain was finally starting to function again, albeit sluggishly and still slightly dazed. Eren was calling him; after days of radio silence and only hearing his voice through his old voicemail messages, Eren was calling him.

The room grew completely silent. Levi stumbled to the closest desk, leaning on it heavily as he ignored the intense gazes of everyone in the room leveled his way and brought the phone to his lips with trembling fingers. His heartbeat sounded like it was thundering right in his eardrums. Levi swallowed dryly before speaking up.

“…Eren?” His voice sounded hoarse and desperate, like a dehydrated man pleading for water with his dying breath. He might as well have been.

“… _Levi_.” Oh God. Levi sunk to his knees, breath coming ragged. His chest hurt. Everything hurt. Tears pricked his eyes and he tried to concentrate on his breathing lest he forget all together. He never thought a single word would be capable of bringing him to knees

“Eren, Oh my God Eren. Where are you? What happened? Are you hurt? Do you know who—?”

“Levi, Levi stop, please,” Eren interrupted, laughing softly. It wasn’t his normal laugh. It was strained and weary and it made Levi’s mind race with all sorts of scenarios. “I can’t say anything. They’re here with me, I can’t say anything.” _They_. They could be anyone; it could be multiple persons or just the one. Male, female, or other. Pixis made a sound of irritation but Levi barely heard. Eren was alive and he was talking to him and he might not know anything that was going on, but for the moment it felt like he was soaring fifty feet above the clouds.

“Eren, are you okay? Please tell me anything.” Levi squeezed his eyes shut, seizing a fistful of hair and tugging on it sharply. Because he had to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Some small voice at the back of his head was asking him why Eren’s kidnappers would let him call, if not to make some sort of demand or negotiation. The detective part of him was wary and suspicious and it have every right to be, but for the moment, Levi could focus on nothing but the voice at the other end of the line. The small, familiar voice that made his veins catch fire and his nerves spark electric.

“I’m okay, love. I’m okay, don’t worry about me.” Which was an absolutely and utterly ridiculous request to make and Levi’s mind went blank because why the hell would Eren say something like it? He was about to ask exactly that, but Eren continued. “They let me call on the condition I wouldn’t say anything. Only hear your voice and talk to you.” About what? “How are you, Levi?”

“Eren—” Really? Did Eren really think he could just do that? Talk like it was any old normal conversation, discuss the weather and their friends like nothing was out of the ordinary?

“Can you do something for me, Levi? Could you please tell Mikasa I love her?” Levi felt his stomach sink, because those words were dangerous ones.

“Why? What do you mean, tell her yourself!” He knew he was getting angry, but his heart was hammering in his chest and he was _scared_.

“I will, I will. I just want you to tell her too because I haven’t said it in so long. I just need her to know I’m okay.” Levi couldn’t say anything to that. He supposed on some level it would be reassuring to Mikasa to hear Eren had got in touch and wanted her to know that. It brought a semblance of normalcy to the situation, like a normal phone call from a loved one that had gone away. Just a casual request to ‘give them my love!’

“She must be so worried. I don’t want her to worry, she should focus on her vac-work. And Armin too,” Eren was chatting away like normal. Except Levi could tell it wasn’t normal; there was a sense of urgency in his voice like he was trying to get as much out as possible on a time limit. “He has exams soon. Please make sure he eats properly and gets enough sleep. He always overworks himself around this time.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll do that.” Levi’s voice came out wavering, because as much as Eren could pull off this ‘casual chat’ thing, he was breaking on the inside.

“How’s Bella?”

“Fine,” He croaked. That was a lie, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to describe the empty look in her eyes as she sat in their shared study spot every evening, caged by a nest of cushions and blankets and staring without seeing at the grey sky outside. “As good as can be, I suppose.”

“That’s… that’s good to hear. She has a recital coming up, doesn’t she?”

“You remembered.” Of course he did, Eren remembered Isabel’s schedule better than Levi ever did. “This weekend.”

“I’m so proud of her. I wish I could come.” Levi’s heart clenched, because those words again alluded to something worrying.

“You _can_ come.” The way he said it was slightly forceful. They carried the underlying question ‘ _what makes you think you couldn’t?_ ’

“Of course.” Eren whispered the words. Empty words. Words meant only to placate, not promise. Why did he sound like that? Like his voice was on the verge of breaking? Fading in and out like it was taking all the breath in his lungs to push them out. Levi knew why; he might not have had much experience hearing it, but the few times he had had ingrained themselves into his mind deep enough that he could never mistake it for anything else. Eren was trying not to cry. Levi couldn’t do this anymore. He didn’t care he was in a room full of detectives scrutinizing his call and his personal life. He didn’t care that Eren was trying so hard to keep this light and reassuring, because that was fucking stupid.

“Eren don’t do this to me. I can’t take it anymore.” The tears that had been swimming in his vision finally splashed down his face, hot and wet. He rocked himself back and forth, twisting his hair almost painfully. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare. This was no dream.

He heard Eren’s resolve break on the other end. His crying was painful to hear; soft hiccups and gasping sobs. Levi couldn’t hold him like he normally did. Couldn’t pull him against his chest and press kisses to his hair. Levi’s nails dug so deep into his scalp that it broke skin. The sharp pain offered little distraction.

“Levi, I love you.” Oh no. Oh hell fucking no.

“Don’t say it now. Don’t you fucking _dare_ say it now; you tell me to my face, you hear me?” Those were final words. Parting words. Levi didn’t want to hear those words when they were said like Eren desperately wanted to convey all his feelings before time ran out. There was no need to rush, right?

Eren’s laugh was soft and for the first time, genuine. “I thought you might say that.”

“Damn right.”

“But Levi, I need you to know. I just really need you to know how much I love you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.” Were. Why did he say _were_ and not _are?_ “I’m so sorry, Levi.” Why was he apologising? His next words were a whisper. Like it was too late. “I wanted to marry you too.”

Levi suddenly felt cold all over. Numb and frozen and empty like the floor had just dropped out from beneath him and his stomach had followed.

“…What?” He heard scuffling. The sound of a struggle on the other end of the line. “Eren?” When he heard Eren’s voice again, it wasn’t in response to him.

“No, please! Please, just a little longer!” Eren’s voice was a whimper. Pleading.

“ _Eren_?!” He looked to Pixis and the others desperately but they were powerless. All they could do was sit and listen helplessly as Eren begged and struggled.

“Levi, I’m sorry! I love you so much, I’m so sorry.” He sounds far away and muffled. Like he was shouting, desperate to be heard. The distance between them was increasing. “I love y—!”

“Eren!” Nothing. All he heard was silence until the dial tone sounded, mechanical and condemning. The phone slipped from Levi’s fingers and hit the carpeted floor with a dull thud that sounded miles away. The boardroom sprung to life around him, Pixis giving orders and the detectives shouting questions and throwing theories, but Levi felt detached and hollow.

Hanji and Farlan appeared before him, the latter probably having arrived sometime during the phone call. Hanji was squatting before him and talking at him, trying to look calm, collected and reassuring but Levi knew them well enough to see how they were really feeling from their eyes.

He heard one of the detectives standing somewhere behind him murmur quietly to another, but he was immediately shushed by Farlan who levelled him with a silencing glare.

It was too late, though. Levi had already heard what they’d said, and the worst part was that they’d just been voicing the terrifying thought he didn’t have the courage to acknowledge directly himself.

The words still echoed in his mind though, during the silent car ride as Hanji drove him home and all evening until he lay down to sleep in bed:

“ _That was a goodbye, wasn’t it?”_

He hadn’t even said it back. Eren had told him over and over again that he loved him; shouting it up until the call had cut off, and he hadn’t said it back.

Levi clawed at his face as he curled up into a ball under the covers, wanting to tear the skin from his flesh as he felt himself fall apart. Every breath he drew felt like taking lung fulls of water instead; his chest burned and his shoulders trembled uncontrollably no matter how hard he tried to squeeze his body close. Levi felt warm wetness coating the fingers digging into his cheeks and he thought for a second that he’d broken skin, but they were only more tears.

“I love you,” he sobbed into his hands. Into the cold, empty chasm beside him in his bed and to the boy who couldn’t hear him now no matter how much he begged and pleaded. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I love you.”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Never Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNKbeV3wM84) by Florence + The Machine

Had it really been almost six months since they had last been here? Levi in his stuffy, awkward tuxedo and Isabel bouncing excitedly in her chair beside him, the show schedule twisted into scraps in her hands. So much had happened in such a short time, his entire _life_ had changed, and here they were right back where it had all started. The night felt surreal, like some strange _deja vu._ Eren looked exactly like he had all those nights ago; beautiful, captivating, and out of reach, except of course now he wasn’t so out of reach anymore.

The applause around them was deafening as the audience rose in a standing ovation to congratulate the nights star. Eren stood centre stage still in costume, positively _beaming_ as he thanked everyone brightly, happy tears in his eyes and bouquet clutched tightly to his chest. It was his last performance before he left the ballet company, and the whole show had been to commemorate his career.

“Doesn’t he look beautiful?” Isabel gushed as she watched Eren adoringly. Levi smiled, tugging his sister into his side in a half-hug.

“Yeah, he does.”

 

They trailed out of the theatre once the curtains fell, Isabel vibrating with energy and Levi’s heart hammering in his chest. He felt a nervous sweat break out at the thought of what was ahead. Why was he so nervous? He’d more or less done this before anyway.

Armin greeted them in the lobby right where they’d agreed to meet. Annie was by his side and she nodded to them as they approached.

“Hey Bella! How was the show? Hi Levi – _Oof!_ ” Armin gasped with the force of Isabel’s embrace, his smile slightly pained.

“Bella, reign it back a bit,” Levi helped Armin extract himself before fixing the younger man with a grateful look. “Thanks for doing this, Armin. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it, I’m happy to help! Mikasa says to wish you good luck, by the way,” Armin said with a wink. Levi smiled nervously, although he was almost certain it probably looked more like a grimace. Armin laughed at his expression. “Hey, relax! It’s going to be amazing. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Okay, can you not say that, please? Everyone knows as soon as someone says that, shit hits the fan.” Levi fiddled with his bow-tie, the other hand sliding over the pocket of his coat to surreptitiously pat the precious velvet box nestled inside. Isabel just rolled her eyes at him, she’d seen how many times he’d checked his pocket over the course of the entire night and had been ten minutes away from confiscating the box just to get him to pay attention to the show. Armin gave him a sympathetic smile.

“We all know he’s going to say yes. As long as you don’t lose the ring or something between now and when you see him, everything will be _fine_.” Easy for him to say.

Annie handed over the hefty bouquet she had been safe-guarding for him. The one hundred and eight roses had cost a pretty penny, but Levi knew if anyone would appreciate the gesture it would be Eren with his soft spot for grand, romantic gestures.

“Go get ‘em,” Annie smiled.

“Okay. Yes, okay I’ll do that.” Levi nodded and took a deep breath, looking between the three pairs of eyes watching him expectantly. It was Isabel that broke the awkward stand-off with an insistent, “Jesus Christ, just _go_ already!”

“Okay!” Levi turned to go, his heart slamming against his ribcage. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves and began his trip to the dressing rooms.

“Good luck!” The trio chorused behind him. He waved without turning around, knowing he’d probably only find another excuse to delay if he did. He could do this. No problem.

He’d just gotten clearance to get backstage when his phone chimed in his pocket. He fished it out with jittery hands, cursing under his breath as he balanced the oversized bouquet in one arm.

 

 **_[Eren]:_ ** _Hey ok so a stage hand just told me the hall was paked, so unless u wanna fight evry fangirl piled up outside the change room door, we’re think we gonna need a new plan._

What? Levi peered down the corridor towards the change rooms. He couldn’t see the whole way, but he could only make out a few people hurrying between rooms carrying props or bags of clothes. It didn’t looked crowded at all from here, but maybe there were more people further down? Either way, this definitely threw a spanner in the works. Damn it, Armin _had_ jinxed him.

 

 **_[You]:_ ** _What do you suggest then?_

Levi chewed his lip as he waited for a response.

 

 **_[Eren]:_ ** _K stage hand says I could prbly sneak out the bak…_

 **_[You]:_ ** _What do you mean?_

 **_[Eren]:_ ** _This is so exciting! I feel lyk a celebrity having to go out the back door to escape the paprazzi:P Can u meet me in the parking lot in 10??_

 

The parking lot? Levi pulled a face, glancing at the roses in his arms. That was… the opposite of romantic. Who the hell proposed in a parking lot? He was _not_ going down on one knee on petrol stained, filthy concrete. Not in a _tuxedo_.

But he couldn’t say no. Eren’s company had postponed his farewell party just so he could go out with Levi now, and as if Eren would care _where_ he proposed. At the end of the day, Levi had already ‘popped the question’ while they were both half asleep and naked on a boat. It had been completely unplanned and yet the smile on Eren’s face had rivalled the sunrise.

Levi took a deep breath and smiled. He was going to propose in a parking lot. Kneeling on filthy concrete in a tuxedo that cost him several weeks worth of wages. The things he would do for this boy.

 

 **_[You]:_ ** _Of course. See you soon, beautiful._

 **_[Eren]:_ ** _ <3<3<3 xxxXXx  :))))_

 

He didn’t.

*****************

 

Levi jerked awake to the shrill ring of the telephone echoing through the house. He squinted through bleary eyes at the digital clock on his nightstand, and the glowing green digits announced the time to be a little past four in the morning. He fumbled for the cordless phone, the half-finished glass of scotch he’d been nursing before bed crashing to the floor as he accidentally knocked it off the bedside table. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, rolling onto his back before putting the phone to his ear.

“What the _fuck_?” Anyone calling him at this hour deserved such a greeting as far as he was concerned. His voice was groggy with sleep and still slightly slurred. _Ugh_.

“Have you been drinking?” Hanji’s concerned voice only served to irritate him more. Of _course_ he’d been drinking, there was no other way he’d have been able to fall asleep otherwise. He couldn’t care less for their silent disapproval right now.

He could hear the hum of an engine in the background and he frowned. Where were they driving at this hour?

“Okay never mind it doesn’t matter. Levi, I need you dressed and outside your house in ten minutes. I’m on my way to pick you up right now.”

“What? Why?” Levi pushed himself up onto his elbows, sensing the urgency in their tone. His head spun with the rapid movement. Hanji didn’t speak for a few moments and Levi could hear the weight of the silence between them. “ _Hanji_ ,” he urged.

“I just – _crap_. Look, I don’t know what the situation in entirely, but Farlan told me to call you because something came up with Eren’s case.” Levi was instantly wide awake. He swung himself out of bed, careful to avoid the shattered remains of the tumbler as he stumbled to his wardrobe.

“What?! What is it, what did he say?”

“He said the results for the phone tracking came in and they’re on their way to the location right now. It’s a big operation; full combat gear and the whole shebang. I’ll be at yours soon so we can talk properly then, I gotta hang up now, okay?”

Levi felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. He threw the phone in the direction of the bed and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, waiting for the sensation to pass. They’d tracked the call. They found where he was.

They would find Eren.

Levi washed his face and brushed his teeth quickly, throwing on yesterday’s clothes that were still strewn around the bedroom floor. He made his way to Isabel’s room once he was done, trying not to make too much noise as he tip-toed over to her bed. She was curled up in a ball under the sheets, her face pressed into a pillow she was clinging to like her life depended on it. Levi crouched down beside her, gently brushed the hair from her face.

“Hey Bella, sorry to wake you.” Isabel hummed sleepily, her eyelids fluttering and eyebrows pinching into a drowsy scowl at being disturbed.

“I have to pop out quickly for work, okay? I’ll try be quick and I’ll call you soon.”

“You said you’d get off work… you said you’d get a break…” Her voice was a quiet, half-asleep murmur. He _had_ said that. Pixis had given him leave right after Eren’s call, knowing there was no way he’d be able to work in his condition.

“Yeah I know, sorry Bella. Something urgent came up. You get some sleep now. Mikasa will be over in the morning, okay?” He pressed a kiss to his sister’s forehead and she mumbled unintelligibly before drifting off again. He couldn’t tell her something about Eren had come up, not until he was certain it was true, at least. Or something worth telling.

 

Hanji pulled up as soon as he finished locking the front door and Levi hurried through the early morning drizzle to the car. They peeled out of the driveway before he’d even fastened his seat belt, punching an address into the GPS.

“Why wasn’t I told this? How come I only found out through you?” Levi rubbed his eyes as Hanji footed the accelerator.  They stretched over to fish the siren from the glove compartment, not once looking away from the road as they flicked on the lights and sped down the freeway, siren blaring loudly. There was hardly any cars on the road at this hour, but they hardly had the time to wait for red lights.

“Where we headed?”

“Freo. Farlan told me Chief didn’t want to tell you just yet because…” Levi looked at his partner when they hesitated, but Hanji’s eyes remained steadfast on the empty road stretched out before them, their expression uncomfortable.

“What?’’

They shrugged uneasily. “Um, well. You _know_ what they were saying about the phone call…” Hanji spared him a quick look. Levi continued to watch them, his expression carefully neutral. “…That it was like a goodbye? He just didn’t want to call you in until they knew the situation. Didn’t want to…. he said ‘spring anything on you…’” Levi turned to face the front, his gut twisting painfully. There wasn’t a single other car on the freeway. Street lights lit up lonely circles on the road, shadows stretching and disappearing over the dashboard as they hurtled down the deserted stretch. The siren wailed overhead, filling up the silence between them and making the car interior flash red and blue.

They thought Eren was dead. They expected to find his dead body.

“He’s wrong.” Hanji glanced his way but didn’t comment. Levi looked at the time. Half past four; they’d get to Fremantle soon since there was no traffic to hinder them. His knee bounced anxiously. He needed coffee.

“They managed to trace the signal to an industrial block close to the docks. Most of the buildings there are factories and warehouses, but Farlan said one of them is a half-finished complex that was abandoned after the construction company went bankrupt. They think that’s where they are.”

 

The calm grey veil of the ocean stretched into the horizon to their left. Ship lights sparkled in the distance, their reflections warped and twisted on the shimmering ocean surface. They drove in silence parallel to the waves lapping at the shoreline, nothing to keep their thoughts from drifting to dark places. Levi switched on the radio to a muffled AM station barely discernable through the heavy static. Anything was better than just the sound of the sirens. His eyes flicking restlessly between his watch and the road. Hanji didn’t say anything, although he kind of wished they would to distract him from his thoughts. He wondered if Farlan called Hanji instead of him directly because he didn’t want to break the news himself that they didn’t expect to find Eren alive. Levi told himself it was because Farlan was probably worried Levi would try drive there himself. Yeah, that was it. 

Levi picked out the complex as they drove up to it. He sat up straighter in his seat at the sight of the abandoned concrete structure, half assembled scaffolding rising up around it like the exposed ribs of a decomposing carcass. The building was a deserted husk, its windows dark and gaping like empty eye sockets and tattered tarpaulin streaming in the sea breeze like torn sails. Tactical Response vehicles were gathered around outside, blue and red lights flashing warningly. Levi saw the officers in their heavy navy jackets crawling the grounds, heads ducked and speaking into their radios.

Hanji parked the car outside the cordoned off area and they hurried towards the structure. Petra and Gunther wordlessly lifted the police tape when they saw them approach. They would have been under orders to not let any unauthorized personnel enter, and given he was officially off the case, that should have included him. Gunther nodded to them in greeting and Petra spared him a wane smile.

“They entered less than ten minutes ago, Sir. Rico’s in the third surveillance van; you should be able to find out what’s going on from her.” Levi nodded his thanks and led the way to the armoured surveillance van Petra pointed out to him. Both he and Hanji moved quickly, keeping an eye out for anyone who might catch them. They were both in civilian clothes after all; they’d be spotted in an instant. They made it without issue and Levi thumped on the door while Hanji kept look out. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited. Fuck, he could go for a cigarette.

“Oh! Uh, Detective Ackerman?” The sandy-haired man who opened the door looked startled. Levi recognised him as Moblit, a newbie. “You… shouldn’t be here, should you—?”

“Is that Levi? About time! Let ‘em in, Mob.” Rico’s distinctly brazen voice could be heard from further inside the vehicle. Moblit looked apprehensive, but obediently stepped aside to let him and Hanji enter. The van was crowded and messy, the shelves lining the walls full of hardware and other unfamiliar electronics that flashed LED lights, humming and whirring in the background. There was a single bulb lighting up the interior, the only other light sources being the green-tinged surveillance screens propped up on one wall.

“Rico, what’s the news?” There were two other men with her, both intently watching the screens showing live feed from the helmet cams of the men inside. Rico barely glanced up at their approach, murmuring directions into her mouthpiece.

“Grab some headsets, fella’s,” she said once she had the chance, gesturing to the shelves behind her brimming with equipment. Moblit hurried forward to retrieve some from the tangle of wires and chords, handing both Levi and Hanji a set each. Levi grabbed the only spare chair, pulling it into place beside Rico to share her view of the screens while Hanji positioned herself behind them, arms crossed and expression grim. “They’ve got no one so far. There were a couple mattresses in a few of the first rooms. Some crates of clothes and meal scraps, but it could just be from squatters.”

“Clear!” Levi recognised Farlan’s tinny voice through his earpiece. Looks like he was leading the squad in Levi’s place. He searched the frames of each of the screens, trying to catch anything. The cameras night vision gave everything a nauseating green hue, making the abandoned construction site look like an amateur horror movie set in an abandoned asylum.

Levi watched the monitor for Farlan’s head cam as he led his team into the next section of the complex. The feed was shaky and stifling and Levi felt himself digging his nails into his thigh with frustration. _Hurry up_.

He couldn’t have been watching for more than five minutes. Five minutes of scanning through room after room finding nothing but rubbish and filthy squalor before he yanked off his headset and stood up. Hanji watched him warily as he paced in the small space, fingers raking through his hair.

“I have to do something. I’m going crazy. They must have missed something.”

“Levi, calm down.”

“I _am_ calm!” He snapped, rounding on them. To Hanji’s credit, they barely flinched at his raised voice. Their expression was collected and sympathetic, watching him carefully as he focused on regulating his breathing again.

“Farlan’s got this, Levi. You know no one is better for this than him. Have a little faith.” They watched him with tired, kind eyes that were ringed with dark circles and glasses slightly askew. Levi recognised the frames as Hanji’s old pair; they must have lost their normal ones. Hanji only misplaced their glasses when they were stressed or had a lot on their mind. He had to remember that Hanji had lost a friend here too; he wasn’t the only one suffering.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have—,” Hanji waved away his apology with an understanding smile. Their next words were interrupted by loud exclamations from the trio watching the live feed.

“Oh, we got something!” Levi and Hanji’s attention snapped back to the surveillance monitors when Rico and her team jumped to attention, fingers flying over their keyboards and voices speaking over each other, shouting direction and informing whoever needed to be alerted.

“Radio the Chief, Mob; they’ve located someone,” Rico’s voice rose over the others and Levi surged forward instantly.

“What’s going on?” He demanded, leaning over her shoulder to get a better view of the screens. Rico was speaking into her mouthpiece, eyes flying between the monitors, but they managed to direct his attention to one of the screens amidst the frenzy. The feed was shaky and hard to follow, there was no sound to explain what was going on so Levi had to try make heads and tails of the moving shapes himself, frowning at the green-tinged officers in combat gear blocking the view and bustling around. He caught a glimpse of what had caused the commotion between the swarm of bodies; a figure, laid out on the floor apparently unconscious. He heard Hanji’s sharp breath beside him as they too noticed what he had.

“Squad two reporting a code three-fifty. Squad one, do you copy?” _Three-fifty?_ Levi met Hanji’s eyes over Rico’s head. Their expression mirrored his own; eyes wide and mouth open in stunned silence.

The rest of the discussion faded into the background after that.

“Rico, where is he?”

“Bringing ‘em out now.” One of the other men answered. That was all Levi needed to hear. He didn’t hear Hanji calling out to him before he was out the van door, tripping down the stairs and scrambling towards the building. He heard shouts behind him and the thundering sound of footsteps as people gave chase, but he wasn’t about to be stopped now, not when he was so close.

Floodlights lit up the way to the building, the construction site bleached white and barren under the stark, blinding glare. Levi’s breath came in short, choked gasps, the numbing cold melting from his bones and replaced by desperate adrenaline.

They’d found him. Code three-fifty: missing person located.

He saw the figure step out through the doorway, flagged by two other policemen clad in dark combat gear with guns in hand as they escorted him out. Levi’s gaze fell to the limp figure draped over their arms, pale, ghostly skin a sickeningly unnatural pallor under the bright beams. His heart stammered and seized up. _Eren_. Paramedics rushed forward, crowding around the police guard as the scream of ambulance sirens wailed in the background. Orders were shouted over the din through speakers and megaphones. The previous smothering silence that had hung over the operation shattered like a broken spell.

Two strong arms seized him the moment his steps faltered, yanking him back and restraining him easily while he struggled to wrench free.

“You’re not supposed to be here, Detective,” He heard Chief Pixis shout from somewhere behind him, as if that would stop him now. Levi didn’t respond, eyes glued to the stretcher that was being wheeled into the back of the waiting ambulance, grim-faced paramedics speaking into radios and scribbling onto clipboards. An arm slipped free of the stretcher restraints, dangling limply off the edge of the gurney as it was loaded on.

“Let me go with him, please.” The ambulance doors slammed shut, blocking Eren from view. Levi sank to his knees as the van drove off, sirens blaring and lights flashing red and blue. “ _Please_.” There was no point begging now. A second wave of armed reinforcements were sent into the building, helmets on and guns at the ready. The echo of their heavy boots thundered across the dirt yard, parting around Levi like water as they prepared to storm the structure now that the hostage had been recovered.

Levi watched the ambulance fade from view, still not quite processing what was happening. The hands holding him back released him now that he’d stopped struggling, and Hanji appeared before him. They took his face in their hands, shouting his name and smiling despite the tear-tracks streaming down their face.

“We found him, Levi!” He couldn’t focus on anything but the face in front of him, a glowing halo of red and blue lights framing Hanji’s messy pony-tail. Everything felt so numb and distant. Hanji’s voice sounded like an echo bouncing off the walls of a tunnel. He stared back unblinking and trying to make sense of their words that seemed too good to be true.

“It’s gonna be okay!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Trembling Hands](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=536xlliz2aM) by The Temper Trap

Levi looked down at his phone as he stepped out of the elevator and into the deserted car park. No signal. He sighed and pocketed the useless device, looking around the near-empty lot for any sight of Eren. He’d forgotten to ask where they’d meet up beforehand, and at least hoped the excitable brunet would have the sense to hang around the elevator where he’d presumably arrive. Maybe he was just early? Levi readjusted the roses in his arms and straightened his bow tie. Deep breaths, don’t stress. This was their special night, he couldn’t afford to lose his patience; he’d wait as long as he needed to for Eren.

Levi smiled just thinking about the others face when he’d see him, arms laden with roses. The way those green eyes would widen as he gasped, eyes welling up with tears. Eren was such a drama queen after all, a true Prima donna.

“Eren?” His tentative voice echoed eerily through the concrete expanse. No response. That was unusual, he should be easy enough to hear in the silence. Levi began walking around towards the stairwell; Eren might be taking the stairs, after all.

He spotted the crumpled bouquet easily enough. The bright splash of white lilies wrapped in glittering green paper stood out like a beacon against the dirtied concrete floor. Levi paused his rounds, staring at the out-of-place flowers before it struck him why they looked so familiar. He’d seen them not an hour earlier in Eren’s arms as he’d taken his last bow onstage.

Levi felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach. Eren had arrived before him, then.

“Eren?” He couldn’t help the hint of desperation that crept into his voice. He didn’t know what was going on, but something was very, very wrong.

 

~~~~~~~

Levi hated hospitals. He hated waiting rooms the most; there was nothing worse than sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, surrounding by hacking toddlers and the usual rowdy Friday night crowd of inebriated strangers lounging across the benches nursing ice packs, black eyes, and stab wounds that left scarlet splatters on the stark, laminate floor. The room reeked of antiseptic, potent enough to bring tears to his eyes but not strong enough to conceal the underlying, cloying odour of illness that always hovered around hospitals like a sickly cloud. He could see Hanji just outside the tinted glass doors of the emergency entrance, hand on hip and pacing agitatedly in the freezing cold as they talking quickly and quietly into their phone.

Isabel was curled up against his side, half asleep and shivering in her bedroom slippers and pyjamas, Levi’s jacket thrown over her shoulders. Mikasa had picked her up and driven over as soon as he’d been coherent enough to call and let her know what was going on.

“When will we be allowed to see him?” Levi looked down at the sound of Isabel’s voice mumbling into his chest. He sighed and rubbed her shoulder.

“I don’t know, Bella. They usually only let family in.” So here they were, curled up on the plastic chairs of the hospital waiting room with apparently not even the clearance to be updated on Eren’s condition. Mikasa had bee-lined straight to her brother upon arrival, barely pausing to acknowledge him before disappearing through the swinging double-doors that Eren had been wheeled through not moments ago, surrounded by a small battalion of police and paramedics. He didn’t blame her; who had time for niceties in a situation like this?

“But _we’re_ family too.”

“I know, love.” Her eyes were red-rimmed from tears and the lids heavy with exhaustion, fluttering between awake and asleep like it took all her effort to keep them open.  
Levi looked towards the over-worked nurses manning the front counter of the emergency ward, pouring over files and advising patients in calm, forbearing tones. He pressed a kiss to his sister’s head and tried to imitate their patience and optimism. “Soon.”

He’d waited so long for this, and a little while longer wasn’t much to ask as long as he was within reach.

He’d wait as long as he needed for Eren. 

 

“Levi.”

“Hm?” He blinked awake, shaking the sleep from his eyes. When had he fallen asleep? Sitting upright in his chair with Isabel slumped on his shoulder. He focused on Hanji who had settled down in the seat beside him, two steaming cups of coffee in their hands. He automatically reached for one on sight.

“It’s gross vending machine stuff, I hope you don’t mind. The cafés not open until seven.” _Ew_. Levi pulled a face but cradled the foam cup in his hands anyway. Caffeine was caffeine and he was in no position to complain.

“Farlan called. He wants to be here but of course he has to help with the investigation.” Hanji kicked off their shoes and perched their socked feet on the edge of their seat, holding their cup close to their chest and huddling around its warmth.

“Did he say anything else? Did they find anyone?” Levi kept his voice low; he didn’t want to wake Isabel, especially not to such a grim subject. Hanji was quiet for a heartbeat too long.

“…They shot them.”

“What?!” Levi would have rounded on them were he not stuck under Isabel’s dead weight. Instead, he settled for levelling them with a wide-eyed stare. “Who was it? Who was the fucker? Is he dead?”

“Yeah...” Hanji watched him carefully from the corner of their eye. “He was hiding in there and tried to run, but when he got cornered, he grabbed a steel pipe and went ballistic. They had to gun him down." Levi nodded stiffly; he felt nothing. He'd expected maybe morbid satisfaction that the sicko met such a grim end, or perhaps anger and disappointment that he didn't live to endure the public hate and condemnation he deserved. But no, nothing. It was just... over. Some random guy he didn't even know, never seen or spoken to, came and ruined his life then left just as swiftly. 

"He’s an over-obsessed fanatic who had been stalking Eren for months just biding his time," Hanji hesitatingly continued when Levi didn't show any immediate signs of breaking down. "He’d gotten a job at the theatre where Eren’s performances were held, presumably to get closer to him until he grabbed him just before he met up with you that night.” Levi suddenly felt like he’s stomach had dropped out. He remembered Eren’s last words to him; his instructions to meet him in the car park because he’d heard from an employee backstage that the halls were too crowded with fans. Even though Levi had thought they looked pretty clear at the time, he’d assumed the employee knew better.

“…Was he pretending to be a stagehand?” Hanji paused mid-sip to look at him in surprise.

“Yeah.” Realization dawned on their face and their eyes widened in horror. “Wait, you said that the reason Eren asked you to change your meeting place was because of something a stagehand had told him. _Oh God_.” Hanji closed their eyes and covered their face with their free hand. No doubt they were remembering him now, just Like Levi was. He recalled the man - well, more a boy actually - clearly; only a couple inches taller than Levi, but far lankier in build and with plain, forgettable features. Levi remembered the way he'd seemed to hunch in on himself as he was interviewed, eyes swollen and red and pale face blotchy from crying. Levi had just assumed he'd blamed himself, since after all, he _had_ been the one to direct Eren to the car park and see him last. Such a situation would be terrifying for anyone, he'd thought at the time. He'd even reassured him, patting the boys shoulder shoulder and offering him a cup of coffee and tissues despite his own frantic state at the time. Now Levi could only wonder if the tears were out of fear of being discovered or perhaps a just highly convincing act.  
“That was him. We interviewed him. He was right there and we thanked him for his help before sending him on his way straight back to where he probably had Eren chained up in that God forsaken construction site.” Levi felt bile rise in his throat.

“…Chained?” His came out a hoarse whisper.  His stomach bottomed out at the thought. He’d kept Eren in chains like some rabid animal? Locked away in a filthy, dusty concrete prison with nothing but the sound of waves and distant ships to keep him company. Hanji had put aside their coffee and was hunched forwards, face covered by their hands as they gently rocked back and forth. Levi saw the faint nod of their head and he closed his eyes with disgusted disbelief. Levi had only caught glimpses of his lover as they’d loaded him into the back of the ambulance, but he’d seen his sickly pale skin, thin wrists, and limp body. He’d been tied up like that. Had he been given food? Had he slept? What had been done to him?

“Mister… Ackerman? Is there an Ackerman present?” Levi whipped his head towards the double doors that lead into the emergency wards. A male nurse in navy scrubs stood by the door, reading off a heavy metal clipboard and looking around the sparse waiting room.

“Yes?” Levi straightened in his seat, catching the nurse’s eye. He gently shook Isabel awake, brushing the stray hairs from her face and quietly urging her to get up. The nurse smiled politely at him.

“You may come through now. Eren is ready to see you.” 

 

The last time he’d been in the hospital was when Isabel had fractured her arm during netball practise. He remembered how anxious he’d felt meandering between the winding corridors trying to navigate his way to where they’d told him Isabel would be. He’d been so terrified that day, the justified concern of a worried big brother, but right now he just felt numb. It was a Friday, so the wards were understandably busier, but he felt himself float behind the male nurse without really registering the hectic rush around him. He was dimly aware of Isabel clinging to his arm and staring around with wide eyes, but otherwise, he was on autopilot. All he could try to process that he was going to see Eren.

The nurse paused by a door and motioned for Levi that this was it. His voice echoed like he was speaking through a tunnel, in fact, everything sounded hollow and distant. There were a couple police officers standing nearby, speaking to a doctor in hushed voices, but they were no one Levi recognised. Isabel uttered a small squeak before rushing ahead into the room before him, bedroom slippers skidding on the taupe linoleum. The blinds were half drawn, but Levi could see Mikasa’s shape hunched over the hospital bed, almost laying down beside Eren. He followed behind Isabel slowly, like he was forcing his limbs to move through sluggish water, and hesitated just a moment by the door. His gut churned with the strangest combination of anticipation and apprehension, like he couldn’t quite believe this was real and he was just waiting for the moment he woke up.

Eren was sleeping when he walked in. The sight of him made Levi’s heart stutter and still. His eyes scanned the pale figure laying on the hospital bed that looked too big for him. Tubes and pipes sprouted out of him like weeds sucking the colour from his flesh as monitors and machines hummed and beeped clinically in the background. He was so still. Levi approached the bed tentatively, eyes glued to Eren’s form.

“You just missed him,” Mikasa whispered, but Levi barely heard. Eren’s hair was oily and matted, his face gaunt and sallow under the stark, unflattering fluorescents of the hospital light. His beautiful eyes looked sunken and tired in his face, purple bruises of exhaustion ringing the shadowed bags beneath them. There was a big wadded band aid over the left side of his face, stretching from over his brow, over half his eye to end halfway down his cheek. Levi could still make out the speckled flakes of dried blood clinging to the edges.  
He stepped around Isabel to lean over Eren’s form, fingers threading through his knotted hair and pressing his lips to his forehead. His skin felt so cool, _too_ cold, considering how the boy usually burned like he was in the heights of a fever. Levi felt tears prick the corners of his eyes and he squeezed them shut, lips hovering just above skin. He breathed in Eren’s scent; it was weak under the artificial stench of antiseptic and hospital linen, but it was there and it made his throat feel like it was closing up and suffocating. Eren felt so delicate and fragile beneath him. So limp and breakable. He couldn’t even pretend the boy was sleeping; when Eren slept, his limps went haywire, thrown around and into the face of whatever poor sod happened to be sharing the space. They’d lain him out so straight and neatly on the bed, hands by his sides and feet together like he’d been laid out in a casket. It looked unnatural and wrong. Levi pushed the thought from his mind; Eren was here now, he was safe and alive and _right here_. Everything would be okay.

“How is he?” The words came out more like a gush of breath. Mikasa looked up at him with tired, eyes, glanced quickly at Isabel who was resting her head by Eren’s side, and jerked her head towards the door. _Let’s talk outside_. Levi nodded, letting his fingers linger just a little longer in Eren’s hair before following her out.

 

The door had barely shut behind them when Mikasa launched into speech, bouncing restlessly on her feet with arms crossed over her chest. She was still in scrubs from her vac work at the hospital she’d left to come here as soon as he’d called.

“They can’t really say anything about his mental well-being at this stage, but he’s in shock right now and really vulnerable. The doctor said in cases like this, common results are flashbacks, hypervigilence, anxiety, dissociation, depression, and other things I don’t remember anymore.” Mikasa shook her head, pressing the tips of her fingers to her temples and squeezing her eyes shut as if berating herself for not recalling all the details.

Levi reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Mikasa…”  She didn’t appear to register his touch, instead forging ahead with glazed over eyes fixed on the laminate flooring as she recited the diagnosis like she was rehearsing lines for one of her exams.

 “Physically, he’s malnourished and severely hypothermic. He had a couple cuts and bruises, a seven inch laceration down the left side of his face, but nothing really serious; mostly concentrated around his legs, wrists and ankles most likely from being held down and restrained. He’s sleep deprived and fatigued—”

“Hey, ‘Kasa.” Levi tried again gently as the younger woman’s lower lip trembled, but she still didn’t stop. He supposed this might be her trying to keep in control and rationalize the situation, but he could see the unshed tears glistening in her eyes. She hugged her arms around herself like she was trying to hold herself together and closed her eyes, the tears finally spilling out over her flushed cheeks.

“…He’s so—” She choked on the words as she started to sob. Levi placed his hands on her face brushing away her tears with his thumbs, pulling her closer and tilting her face down to try and force her gaze on him. She kept her eyes firmly squeezed shut.

“Mikasa, look at me, take deep breaths. Everything’s going to be okay, Eren’s here now, he’s safe. Hey, look at me.” Mikasa only shook her head, brows furrowed with frustration and she leaned into him, head resting against his shoulder. Her whole body trembled and Levi couldn’t tell if she was shivering or shaking. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed circles into her back. His glanced back into Eren’s room out of the corner of his eye. Isabel was cradling one of his hands to the side of her face as her lips moved around words he couldn’t make out. It looked like she was singing.

“Come on. Let’s go back in.”

 

Levi jerked awake when he heard the heart monitor go crazy.

“Eren? Eren, Relax! Stop, it’s me, Mikasa! _Eren!_ ” He’d fallen asleep by one of the guest chairs by the window, and staggered up to find Mikasa struggling to hold down Eren as the boy fought to rip off his blankets, eyes wide and screaming like he’d awoken from a nightmare. Levi hurried to the bedside, trying to help Mikasa calm Eren down as a doctor and two nurses rushed in, clipboards at the ready and eyes alert as they scanned the beeping screens and fussed over the panicking patient.

“Eren look at me!” Levi urged, taking the sobbing boys face in his hands and trying to hold his attention. He pressed his forehead against Eren’s, thumbs rubbing reassuring patterns against the clammy skin of his cheeks, and stared into those beautiful green eyes he hadn’t seen in too long.

“ _Levi?_ ” Oh his voice. Oh his beautiful, amazing voice. It sounded so much better in person than the tinny recorded voicemail Levi had been listening to on repeat for the past few days. Hoarse and dry with either disuse or overuse, but it was his voice, and it sounded like music. Levi pressed his lips against Eren's skin, over and over again, kissing his forehead, his nose, his eyes, and the tears off his cheeks. 

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here. Mikasa and Isabel are here too.” Isabel stood at the foot of the bed, looking worried and small as she tried to stay out of the way of the frantic adults.

“Your safe, Eren. Take deep breaths, we’ve got you,” Mikasa's voice was level now. She sounded like a professional doctor, calming a patient with practised ease, watching Eren with one eye and the attending doctor with the other.

“Levi help me!” Eren’s face crumbled and tears streamed down his cheeks anew. He tried to tear off the band-aid on his face but Levi gently pried his fingers away, squeezing the trembling digits in his hand and pressing kisses against each raw knuckle. “Levi, I can’t move.” Levi looked to the doctor as he pressed a stethoscope to Eren’s chest, murmuring quite reassurances and watching the heart monitor.

“Eren, deep breaths. You’re just panicking, it’s perfectly normal but you’re safe. Relax,” he said. Levi squeezed Eren’s hand between his while Mikasa brushed back the stray hairs that had fallen into his face.

“I can’t feel my legs..." Eren's voice suddenly dropped to a hushed whisper. "Mikasa, I can’t feel my legs! Why can’t I feel them? _Oh God_ …” He stared up at the ceiling with wide, horrified eyes as silent tears rolled down his face. His pupils were two tiny pinpricks in a sea of green, glazed over and unfocused. Levi and Mikasa shared a startled look before looking to the doctor, who turned to discuss with his nurses. Levi didn’t miss the flicker of unease before he managed to school his expression into one of clinical calmness once more.

“I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the room for a moment, please,” He said authoritatively. “One of you can stay to keep him calm.”

“What’s going on, doctor? What’s wrong?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out, Miss. Now if you please...?”

Isabel pressed into Levi’s side as they were ushered out by one of the nurses. There were plastic seats a little further down the hall, but they settled for leaning up against the wall opposite the door, watching the flurry through the blinds. Levi's heart was racing at a million miles an hour, and he wished so desperately Mikasa were at least out here to explain what she could see the doctor and nurses doing inside. Instead he was outside looking in, clueless, helpless, and lost.

“What’s wrong with him, big bro?” Isabel asked in a small voice. Levi pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her head. She sounded like he felt inside, but he couldn’t let that show.

“I don’t know, love. But I'm sure it’s going to be fine.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [From Eden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmWbBUxSNUU) by Hozier
> 
> No more sads. I promise.

**Ten Months Later…**

 

“So…” Farlan stared down at the heavy wooden door he’d just helped Levi wrestle out of his back shed. He took a sip from his VB and looked at his friend expectantly. “You said we were gonna make a ramp, but do you actually know how?”

Levi wiped his brow with the back of his gloved hand, frowning down at the splintered jarrah plank. It had seemed like a good idea at the time; call Farlan over and get his help whipping up a wheelchair ramp from the discarded antique door he had laying uselessly in his garage. Do it quickly, despite the blistering summer heat, while Eren was at physio with Mikasa and Isabel so he’d return home to the surprise. Make a ramp out of a slab of wood, how hard could it possibly be? Levi shrugged, for the first time reconsidering his brilliant idea.

“…Maybe we should call Erwin and Mi—“

“We should definitely call Erwin and Mike,” the blond agreed.

They ended up nursing their beers in the shade of the veranda as Mike did all the work, Erwin diligently assisting him where he could.

“I mean, we’d just be in the way,” Farlan rationalised, and Levi agreed.

“His session finishes in half an hour, so you guys better hurry!” He yelled over the sound of the power drill as Farlan sniggered beside him. Erwin flipped Levi off without looking up, one hand still holding the door steady for Mike. When they finished, Levi dragged out the rickety fan that usually stood in the living room and plugged it to the extension cord that snaked up the porch and into the house. It didn’t do much in terms of relief; just blew the hot air at them with more force, but at least there was some circulation and their sweat was drying faster. Erwin brought out more beer which was warm from sitting in his car all day, but everyone was beyond complaining. They collapsed in the shade of the veranda in their sweat-soaked Bintang singlets and shorts, trying to stretch out as much as they could in the scorching heat.

“Should I sweep it again?” Levi asked, eyeing the finished ramp. There could be more splinters; it was a very old door. It had been removed back when Isabel’s parents were still alive when they knocked out the wall between the living room and the kitchen to make more space, or at least give the illusion of it.

“We buffed like an inch off the surface, then varnished the damn thing; it’s not like Eren’s going to be dragging himself up it with his bare hands,” Farlan said.

“Put your shirt back on, Mike, Bella will be back soon!” The tall blond groaned, but grudgingly complied.

The shadows of the blue gums were stretching across the yellowed lawn when Mikasa’s car pulled back into the gravel driveway. All four men raised their hands in greeting. Levi wanted to rush and help Mikasa unload the wheelchair, but he knew how much Eren hated people to make a fuss. So as not to force him to endure the awkward trip up to the house with four pairs of eyes tracking his movements, he asked Erwin about the footy scores and got the other three talking about the Eagles god-awful performance in the first half of the finals. Isabel tripped out of the car and beamed when she saw the new ramp.

“Nice!” She nodded appreciatively, then glanced up shyly. “Hi Farlan.” Levi rolled his eyes; how many more years until she got over the god damn crush?

“Hey, Bell. How’s tricks?”

“Great, Eren’s really improving. He can walk along the entire rails without anyone’s support.” She hushed quickly as Eren approached, eyebrows raised.

“Holy shit,” Eren laughed as Mikasa pushed his chair forward. He appraised the revamp, then glanced up at Levi. “How long did this take?” Levi shrugged nonchalantly.

“Eh, not much. Was pretty easy, really.” He heard Mike mutter something that sounded suspiciously like ‘wanker’ and Erwin wheezed, too hot and exhausted to laugh properly.

“You really didn’t have to go to the trouble…” Eren had that look again. The distant, sad look he wore whenever he felt like his disability was impeding on other people. Levi pushed himself up off the floor and trotted down the ramp, leaning over to kiss Eren.

“It was kind of fun, actually. Got all the boys together for some quality bonding. I’ve been going stir-crazy without any work to do and you away.” He stayed like that, hands on the armrests of Eren’s chair, watching him with a soft smile as he waited for Eren to believe him. The brunet chewed his lower lip, but he couldn’t help giving in to a smile under Levi’s scrutiny. He shoved the older man’s shoulder, and scrunched his nose, making a show of wiping his palm on his jeans.

“You’re so sweaty.”

“Is it turning you on?” Levi waggled his eyebrows. “The sweaty workman look?” He flexed his biceps which were on display in the loose singlet he wore. Mikasa groaned and moved away, probably to fetch herself a drink so she didn’t have to listen to them anymore. Eren laughed and leaned forward, dropping his eyelids and glancing between Levi’s eyes and lips.

“I’d let you take me apart and put me back together,” he said with a sultry wink.

“You really shouldn’t, I had to teach him how to use a drill from scratch just twenty minutes ago,” Mike called from behind them, and Levi remembered again they had an audience.

“Then he should be able to drill me real good now, ay?” Eren shouted back without missing a beat to a chorus of scandalized hoots and laughter. Levi’s face burned, and he ducked his head low as he pushed Eren up to the shade. Still, he was smiling. Eren had settled into his group of friends quickly once introduced, and while Levi had never expected anything less, it still made him happy.

He’d been reserved the first few weeks back from the hospital, as expected, and they had been the toughest. He used to wake up screaming in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, eyes wide and panicked. It happened multiple times a night too, and sometimes it took Levi hours to calm him down again. The doctors had run all the x-rays and scans they could, but they couldn't find anything physically wrong with Eren's legs. It had to be psychological, they'd reasoned, a result of trauma. Dancing had been what kept Eren grounded; whenever he was stressed or upset or overwhelmed, he'd always go to the studio to clear his mind, but suddenly he couldn't walk, let alone dance, and the toll that had taken on him had been heavy. He hardly spoke or ate, sitting in his chair for hours by the living room windows he used to study at with Isabel, just staring at the leafless gums in the yard without actually seeing. Sometimes, all Levi could do was sit with him and wait, ready to hold him when he needed it and remind him he was home now and safe. It had been almost a year now since Eren had returned to them, but things were finally on the mend. 

“Jesus, Eren, at least wait till I’m inside,” Mikasa muttered, shaking her head before following Isabel’s lead and escaping into the house. Eren never had difficulty getting along with most people, but he’d adjusted especially fast to Levi’s friends’ crude and shameless sense of humour. A lot of the jokes were at the expense of their more private activities which normally might have made Levi uncomfortable. Mike and Erwin were used to such discourse now, but it was worth it to see the way Farlan’s face turned flame red and he'd choke on his drink.

“Where’s Hanji?” Eren accepted a warm beer from Mike and twisted off the cap with his teeth.

“On a date,” Farlan answered, arching an eyebrow suggestively and shimmying his shoulders. “With Moblit, the newb in SWAT.”

“Get it, Hanj.”

They lapsed back into a comfortable silence, watching the rotating sprinkler _put-put-puttered_ a weak drizzle of water over the straw-like front lawn. The drone of crickets and magpie warbling was a lazy, summer hum in the background. Erwin turned the radio on his phone to a station playing the football match, and they listened to the commentators vividly describe the thrashing the West Coasters were receiving with grim expressions.

“I’m going to shower,” Eren said. “I’ve been rolling around on rubber mats all day and I’m beat.” Levi wordlessly got up to help him manoeuvre inside.

“How was physio?” Eren hummed and shrugged. He never seemed to like to talk about his rehabilitation with Levi, and didn’t seem to like it when Levi tagged along, so the older man usually had to get his updates from his sister or Mikasa, who for some reason were allowed to join him every session.

“Same old.” Alright then. Levi used to wonder why Eren was so cagey about the topic specifically around him. It was something that had started more recently as well. The best he could come up with was that Eren didn’t want him to see how he struggled to do the most basic exercises when once he’d leapt and vaulted across the stage with such ease. He wanted to reassure the boy, to say what he needed to hear, but he didn’t know what that was and was never good with words. So instead he didn’t press the topic and carried on as they always did. When Eren struggled to do something, Levi would help without mentioning it. If their roles were reversed, it’s what he’d have wanted.

Mikasa and Isabel were sitting on the living room sofa, discussing something in quiet voices. Levi would have eavesdropped if Eren didn’t clear his throat loudly to announce their presence, and the girls hushed, smiling at him innocently as they passed. They’d been getting along awful well recently, and Levi caught them more and more often talking together in low voices that halted immediately when he came too close. He noticed Eren would join them too sometimes, and while it was killing him to not know what they were discussing, he figured if it was relevant to Eren’s therapy and it was what Eren wanted, he was happy to let the issue go.

“Bath or shower?”

“Bath. You’re coming with me.”

“I’m covered in sweat,” Levi protested as he began filling the ancient ceramic tub. The metal pipes rattled and groaned, and the water that spurted out of the cold pipe was scalding hot at first. How Eren could bathe in this heat was beyond him. He helped Eren into the tub when it was half full with cool water, and the boy sank into the water with a relieved sigh. At his insistence, Levi eventually relented and stripped off too, washing off the worst of the sweat and grime under the shower head. Eren watched his naked form through the clouded glass of the shower cubicle with a triumphant smile. He tipped back his head to expose the tan column of his neck when Levi stepped out, watching him through half-lidded, ‘ _come-hither_ ’ eyes. Levi snorted and shook his head in disbelief. He'd expected the boy to be exhausted after physio.

Levi climbed into the tub so he was facing Eren and, hooking his hands under the boys bronze knees, pulled his legs over his own and tugged him forward. Eren laughed as he let himself be manhandled, draping his hands over Levi’s shoulders when they were pressed against each other as much as the old tub allowed. Levi was hard, it was impossible not to be when you were naked in a bath with your gorgeous, younger boyfriend. His erection pressed insistently against Eren’s inner thigh, but he didn’t really want to do anything about it right now. He just wanted to feel Eren against his skin, to run his fingers down the knobs of his lover’s spine and press kisses against every inch of Eren’s face. Down the seven inch long scar that was a faint, silver line that curved around Eren’s cheekbone. He knew the brunet was insecure about the injury, so he made sure to shower it with extra attention rather than act like it wasn’t there. There was no point ignoring it; after so many months, it sure as hell wasn’t fading anymore. And besides, as he made sure to remind Eren often, it looked kinda hot. Made Eren look roguish and dangerous.

The small, tiled room echoed with the faint splashes of their movements. The sounds of the radio outside filtered in through the half open window, and the ancient exhaust fan whirred overhead. Otherwise, it was quiet. They could even pretend there weren’t five other people in the house and it was just them.

“We should take Erwin’s boat out again sometime,” Eren murmured against his collarbone. One hand combed through Levi’s damp hair, tugging on the strands and fisting in the locks while the other hand dragged his nails down his back. Levi hummed, his own hands ghosting down Eren sides and wrapping around his waist. He breathed in Eren’s scent, slightly sweaty and slightly salty from the sea spray he used in his hair. He closed his eyes and listened to the boy’s heartbeat. Felt it through his chest against his own. Slow, calm, constant.

“I love you.” He made sure he said it every day now. Every day since Eren came back to him. Every day that Eren would remain by his side. His lover laughed quietly and pressed his lips against Levi’s shoulder.

“I know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Epilogue is next!~


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith
> 
> Fair warning; I don’t know shit about ballet. A disclaimer I should have considered before writing a sort-of ballet AU. I am not good at foresight. Any ballet dancers have full permission to hunt me down and kick me with their pointy little feet for butchering their art. I concede I may deserve it. 
> 
> **Note:** When you see the little **(X)** -thing, you can click it for a link to the music if you want. I mean, you should. Just do it. Click the fucking link.

He wasn’t wearing his tux this time. It almost felt blasphemous to sit in the fancy velvet-draped theatre in just his navy-surplus sweater and jeans. Levi sank self-consciously into the expensive cushioned seating, wondering for the umpteenth time tonight just what was going on. He was alone in the theatre gallery, sitting awkwardly in the middle of the front row staring at the grand piano set and ready to go on the corner of the stage. He felt like he was stuck in a weird, warped dream; a lonely theatre, he’d decided, was a really great setting for a creepy nightmare. He didn’t even bring his phone because he’d thought Eren would be here and they’d been basically joined at the hip as of late. So much so that people knew by now if they wanted to get in touch with him, it was generally easier to just call Eren and ask him to pass over the phone. He was starting to get antsy; he didn’t like it when he didn’t know where Eren was for too long, and sitting in this very theatre wasn’t helping the feeling of unease.

He was just about to get up and go try find Mikasa again to demand just what was happening when Armin appeared on the stage. He smiled apologetically, patting the air with both hands in a conciliatory gesture as if to say ‘hold on, hold on.’ Grumbling, Levi settled back down, his knee bouncing restlessly.

The short blond was wearing a dress shirt, black slacks, and fancy leather shoes that only made Levi feel all the more under-dressed. He settled in the piano bench with practised ease and shuffled through the sheet music as if making sure all was in order.

“What the hell is going on?” Levi finally asked. This was all very mysterious and the inner detective in him didn’t much appreciate how cloak-and-dagger everyone had been acting all day. Mikasa had told him to cancel all his plans for the day and be dressed and ready to go out just before dinner. When she’d pulled up in her battered red Corolla, she’d paused to look over his outfit with a critical eye before sighing and telling him to get in. If he hadn’t been self-conscious of his wardrobe choice then, he certainly had been once she’d pulled up outside the theatre and told him to give his name to the receptionist and follow their directions to the right door.

Armin turned over his shoulder to shoot him wink and a sly grin before pressing a single finger against his lip. _Don’t tell me to shush_. Levi was just about to say as much out loud when the boy started playing. **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B22eZY1PESY) ** Soft, gentle chords echoed around the hall, reverent and clear. Levi’s mouth snapped shut again as the back curtain shifted and slowly began to rise. He heard the unmistakeable sound of a cello, and the curtain rose to show Isabel in her favourite black concert dress, instrument between her knees and eyes closed as she played. He was still bemused as to what exactly was going on, but he forgot all that for an instant as he watched his little sister play, caught up in the music with fingers expertly caressing the strings with her bow and head nodding along to the music. It sounded amazing and she looked so professional. He recognised the song now and he just had enough time to piece together why she’d been listening to it on repeat for the past fortnight before movement on the other end of the stage caught his eye.

It was Eren.

Levi’s heart stuttered in his chest when he caught sight of Mikasa pushing him into view in his chair, but it was what he was wearing that made Levi’s heart clench. He was dressed his old ballet costume, the very first one too, back from the first night Levi had seen him dance. Billowy light green beaded shirt, unlaced partway down the front and the shimmering, pearl white tights that hugged his toned, dancers calves snugly. He smiled at Levi and it took his breath away like that first night all over again. He looked positively resplendent. Honestly, Levi could have sworn he glowed under the stage lights, like something out of a dream.

Mikasa came around to stand beside her brother, hand hovering cautiously by his elbow. Levi was starting to wonder again what this was all about when Eren stood up.

He just _stood_.

Levi stared. It had been a little difficult, he’d struggled to right himself and needed the armrests to lever up with, but there was no doubt about it; he was definitely standing and Mikasa hadn’t touched him either.

Levi realised he too had gotten up, and was standing at the edge of the stage with wide eyes and mouth agape. Eren laughed at his expression. Oh God he looked amazing; he looked so proud and pleased and he had that stupid, shit-eating grin he wore whenever he knew he’d just done something fucking incredible and he was waiting for the ensuing adoration Levi would faux-begrudgingly shower him with. Someone had thought fully placed a stepladder before the stage, probably anticipating Levi’s eventual desire to charge up there and seize Eren around the waist and spin him around like something out of a disgustingly sappy romantic movie, and just as he was about to do just that, the music swelled once more.

Levi realised as he watched his lover take a tentative, unsteady step forward, the show was not yet done.

Eren slowly started to dance. His movements were a little stiffer than Levi remembered; he used to be all fluid motions and confident grace. Now, the concentration and effort was visible in the slight crease between his eyebrows and the way his muscles twitched and spasmed slightly as if railing against the movements. God he was trying so hard. Levi tried to name the positions when he saw them; he couldn’t help picking up bits and pieces over time what with two ballet enthusiasts under his roof constantly jabbering about the art. He recognised the _attitude_ – no, _arabesque_ – straight leg, not bent. He always got those two mixed. And the _pirouette_ , that was easy. Eren wobbled a bit at the end, and had to put his raised leg down prematurely to steady himself. He bit hard on his lower lip which had begun to wobble precariously, the frustration clearly getting to him. This were all moves he’d never had trouble with once. He could do them with his eyes closed before, even tipsy, as he’d happily demonstrated to Levi once in the city square on a quiet Sunday night. Now Levi saw the tell-tale glisten of unshed tears under the dim stage lights and his legs moved on autopilot, carrying him up the step ladder and towards the stage.

Eren looked up at the movement, and his eyes dark green in the shadows of the spotlight were wet and full of insecurity. Levi smiled at his danseur, nodded encouragingly and said with his expression what he never could with words.

_Keep going, love. You look beautiful._

Eren smiled at him. It was tiny and unsteady, and a single tear escaped as he blinked, but he was smiling at Levi and his eyes hardened with that gorgeous, fiery, _stubborn_ determination and Levi knew he was in for a treat.

Eren carefully stepped back, widening the gap between them and took his position. Arms out stretched on either side, palms facing up, and right foot in front of the left with the toes angled out. As he let his arms fall slowly, his left leg gracefully swept around in front of the right.

Ah, Levi knew this one too. It was one of his favourites because Eren did it so well. Better than any of the other danseurs, he thought, with the kind of effortless energy and strength that made him so mesmerising to watch.

 _Tour en l’air_.

As his right leg glided up to meet his left, he pushed up in a slight bounce, toes pointed downward. As he landed again, one foot in front of the other, toes facing outward, he lowered slightly ready for the final, powerful spring. Levi held his breath in anticipation, lips parted and eyes wide. Unconsciously, his fingers fisted in his jeans. _Go on,_ He urged. _You’ve got it._

Eren jumped and spun. Two full rotations airborne, then down and right back up again without a hitch. Flawlessly, he repeated the move, Levi’s eyes tracking him keenly like an acrobats coach, looking for any faults or mistakes, but maybe his eyes didn’t deceive him or maybe he was otherwise distracted by Eren moving, because he saw none.

On the third landing, Levi saw him stumble slightly when one foot gave way. Eren flailed and his expression of focus slipped to one of surprise and panic as he tipped forward.

Levi was there in an instant. Arms out and ready, he wrapped Eren up in a catch-embrace and hugged him tightly against his body. But Eren was a lot taller than him, and had a lot of momentum behind him, so they both only ended up going down together in a messy, graceless heap just as Armin’s fingers slipped on the piano keys and Isabel’s playing faltered, the music screeching to an almost comical halt to match their crash landing.

He landed on his butt, which hurt a bit, yeah, but Levi could feel Eren shaking against him as he hugged him close and all he could think was that he’d hurt himself. He might have cushioned his fall, but maybe he’d pulled something during his landing that caused the stumble?

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” One hand gripped the chiffon fabric of Eren’s shirt tightly while the other cradled his head gently against Levi’s chest. He pressed his lips to Eren’s hair, concern colouring his voice. He was dimly aware of Isabel and Armin standing and starting forward too, presumably to check on them, but then he noticed their panicked steps falter and pause. That was his first giveaway.

Then he felt Eren’s laughter. It started quiet; breathless, silent laughter that then transformed into a loud, full-body one that had him throwing his head back and fisting Levi’s sweater with both hands to hold him steady. His eyes were screwed shut, tears clinging to his long lashes, and his white teeth flashed brightly against his gorgeous skin. Levi found himself laughing too.

When he had a chance to catch his breath again, he took the time to look over his lovers face properly. To memorialize the image of Eren’s laughing face so deeply into his memory, the image would be burned to the back of his eyelids forever. He took Eren’s face in both hands, stroking the curve of his cheeks with his thumbs reverently, as if needing to affirm for himself he was really here. Eren’s laughter subsided and his arms wrapped around Levi’s waist and he propped his chin on Levi’s chest, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

“What?” He giggled.

_Do you need to ask?_

“You’re amazing,” Levi answered truthfully. Eren shrugged, but his eyes slid down and away, a shy blush gracing his cheeks. Levi had so many questions. Since when? How long? _How?_ But he could guess at most of the answers. The long physio sessions that he wasn’t allowed to attend, Isabel and Mikasa’s conspiratory glances and whispers, and Eren; with his natural talent, drive and determination, how could he _not_? They were questions for a different time though, right now he wanted to enjoy this.

Isabel and Armin had slipped away sometime during their giggle fest into the dark alcove behind the stage curtains to give them their privacy. They were alone in the theatre, tangled together on the stage floor with the single spot light aimed down at them like the beam of a solitary UFO. Levi combed his fingers through Eren’s hair with one hand, the other drifting down to the pocket of his jeans. Eren pressed a long kiss to his chest, burying his face in the knitted wool of the faded sweater. He said something, but the words were muffled and indecipherable against Levi’s chest.

“What?”

Eren hesitated, and Levi felt his fingers tighten nervously in the folds of his jumper.

“Marry me,” he repeated. His voice was barely above a self-conscious mumble, but Levi picked up those words like his ears were honed to hear them. His heart squeezed tightly in his chest in his chest and he closed his eyes. His fingers, digging into the depths of his jeans pocket, closed around their objective; the small velvet box he’d been carrying around for how many weeks now biding his time for the perfect moment.

The perfect moment this stupid little shit just stole, goddamnit.

His silence had stretched out a little too long, apparently, because Eren looked up at him, just his eyes visible, wide and uncertain. Like he expected Levi to say no or something. The older man wanted to laugh. Wanted to shake the boy in his arms for even _daring_ to look so unconfident after everything they’d been through. He wanted to shout yes and clear the hesitation from Eren’s face once and for all. Instead, he awkwardly hunched forward to press a long, lingering kiss to Eren’s lips, warm, perfect, and natural against his. When he pulled away, just a fraction too soon judging by the way Eren’s lips chased after him, he lingered close so their noses brushed and Eren’s shaky breaths a warm puff against his mouth. His fingers tightened around the ring box in his hand and he pressed his lips together in a smile that made Eren frown.

“Well?” His ballerino urged, brows drawn down in an impatient scowl.

“Well...” Levi said, still grinning as he parroted Eren’s words from a morning that seemed like a million lifetimes ago. “I don’t see a ring?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis done! At long last! Let me stand over here and weep.
> 
> Okay no but THANK YOU!! Thank you everyone who read this, especially those of you who were right there from the very start. Thanks for bearing through the long update schedules and my wrath when naggy anons warranted some cruel turns. Thanks for you wonderful, encouraging, sweet, sometimes vaguely threatening comments, all your kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks. This fic is kind of mile-stoney to me because it's definitely been the hardest to write. It was least like my usual work, and the types of emotions I had to tackle for most of the scenes were really taxing, unfamiliar and exhausting, so it's weirdly cathartic but also really sad to see it end. It was a good challenge, but I'm happy with it. I hope you all are too:)
> 
> Thank you so much again, all of you. Hope you stick around and read my other work as well, which are certainly a lot happier, I promise <3<3<3


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